Canned Cranberry Sauce Is Delicious All Year Long

I just moved into a new apartment, and when you move into a new apartment, oftentimes your pantry can be…lacking. My whole first week here I didn’t have any salt, so I used Trader Joe’s Everything But the Bagel seasoning instead. This wasn’t as bad as one would think, but it’s still only like 15-20% salt per volume and very much a temporary fix. The dessert portion of my leftover pantry goods was lacking as well, and in terms of sweet things that were not straight-up sugar, I found myself left only with chocolate chips, vegan chocolate chips, and a single can of jellied (no berries) cranberry sauce.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “She’s gonna snack on the chocolate chips like a normal person, right?” Wrong. I whipped out the unopened can of jellied cranberry sauce faster than you can say, “But Jessica, it’s May!”

I had been saving that can like a fine wine since my last college Friendsgiving, just waiting for an appropriately special occasion to crack it open. Yes, that can has moved with me twice, and no I am not embarrassed by this fact. When I saw the glistening top of the cranberry sauce peeking out from the freshly opened can, I knew I had made the right choice. I had myself a whole can of delicious, sour, sweet, and slightly gritty cylindrical Jello, and I rationed that thing as dessert for the next four days until I was able to go visit my BFF Trader Joe and get some real-people food.

candy corn all year long

You Can (and Should) Eat Candy Corn at Every Holiday

Rise up, candy corn lovers! As one of the few candy corn enthusiasts out there, I feel that it is my responsibility to assert that candy corn consumption shouldn’t be limited to a single holiday.

Y’all it was so good. Not that I wasn’t expecting it to be. It’s not like it was expired, and it’s also not like I don’t eat a buttload of straight-up (no chunks) cranberry sauce every single holiday season. I knew exactly what to expect, and I was NOT disappointed. I would even consider buying cranberry sauce just for this purpose! Although, do they even sell cranberry sauce before November? (Okay, I checked. They do.)

Anyway, my point is that seasonal foods don’t have to be seasonal if they’re good all year round, and sauces can be desserts if you just believe. And I do. I do believe. And I hope maybe there’s some cranberry-sauce-loving friend out there who just became a believer today as well.


About the Author

Jessica Block

Jessica Block is a freelance contributor to Sporked, a comedian, a baker, a food writer, and a firm believer that Trader Joe's may just be the happiest place on earth. She loves spicy snacks, Oreos, baking bread, teeny tiny avocados, and trying new foods whenever she can. Also, if you give her a bag of Takis she will be your best friend.

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  • I may have eaten an entire can of cranberry jelly over the course of a night during which I did not sleep, playing computer games at my dad’s house as a teenager.

    Perhaps I covered my tray with this stuff when the school cafeteria foolishly allowed me to serve myself.

    And maybe today I made a lazy version of Thanksgiving dinner purely to justify eating this beautiful, sweet, slippery sauce.

    It’s so damn good ;n;

    Reply