Five Guys CEO Says He Gave Out $1.5M Because He “Didn’t Want Anybody Shooting” Him

I don’t know if you saw the Onion article, “Five Guys CEO Gave Employees $1.5M So No One Would Shoot Him,” but it was pretty funny! I loved the part where—wait. Hold on. I’m receiving word that this wasn’t an Onion article? This was… real? 

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Oh, it’s real. Here’s the full quote from Jerry Murrell (82), Five Guys’ CEO: 

“I didn’t want anybody shooting me in the back or anything after the first day, because we really screwed it up. We had no idea that we were going to get that kind of response.” 

He’s talking about the BOGO promotion that Five Guys did back in February to celebrate their 40th anniversary. Apparently, the chain was really unprepared for the turnout. Stores ran out of food pretty quickly, and the workers were quickly overwhelmed. As Murrell told Fortune: “I always think it’s funny when people go to sales. I never thought they worked. We tried this one, buy one, get one free. Holy smokes. I couldn’t believe all the people that jumped on that. I thought maybe increased sales like 20% or something—that was like 130%. So I felt I screwed up.”

Hey, I kinda like this dude. He took accountability. He has a healthy fear of the working class, like any good 1-percenter should. (His net worth is reportedly 400 million, if you’re curious.) And I think it’s hilarious to hear a CEO say that he doesn’t believe sales actually work. He’s, like, the perfect amount of out-of-touch. I want to grab a beer with him and hear his life story.

“You visited our restaurants in overwhelming numbers, and we weren’t ready for you,” Five Guys told customers in a press release. “We didn’t meet our own standards, and that’s not something we take lightly.”

I knew I always loved Five Guys for a reason. Well, many reasons. Their burgers, free peanuts, generously portioned french fries… and now I can add my man Jerry to the list. 

Each impacted store received about $1,000 to divvy out to individual employees for a bonus. Before you ask, I did look for employee accounts of said bonus on Reddit. I couldn’t find much, but I did see this post from a Five Guys employee on the day of the failed promotion, recounting how impossible his shift was. And because I think it’s pure poetry, I’m posting it here:

Today is some crap. Entire truck alone, prep alone. 3 of us all together employees (but really a 2-between-the-3-of-us situation). “We expected 8 extra orders per day”’ really? What I’d like to get to the bottom is, is 40 years of what? Just fucking employees over? I’d really like to be able to celebrate with the fat rich fucks for an anniversary of any kind. Instead my $1.40 tip money went right into my gas tank to get me home. I managed to find another 35 cents in my car Thank God.

I’m glad you got some form of compensation, @afterlifehack. Was it enough? Probably not. But I hope it helped. Vive la révolution, America. Vive la révolution.