Unsatisfied by actual food, we want our nourishment Wonka-fied and turned into candy we can share with friends so we finally have something to talk about aside from the woes of the world.
And Brach’s, with its team of brilliant food scientists, is more than happy to oblige. The newest offering from the company that brought you Thanksgiving dinner-flavored candy corn is a selection of jelly beans inspired by taco truck staples. I tried each and every one, from the mundane (churro) to the bizarre (beef taco). Here’s what I thought:
Let’s start with the best of the best: the Margarita bean. It doesn’t taste like a fresh-made Margarita but it does taste like quality Margarita mix—I even detected a hint of salt. The horchata was spiced with cinnamon and had a pleasant undercurrent of nutty almonds. The churro was fine—it tasted like sugar but so does a churro. The salsa was fascinating. It was garlicky and spicy with some zesty onion flavor. The guacamole was heavy on the cilantro and light on the actual avocado flavor. And the beef taco was truly wild. It tasted like Old El Paso taco seasoning (with sugar) and a hint of grease. Just think about the things the person who created that flavoring could have accomplished if they dedicated their time to something other than jelly beans. I’m not going to snack on these regularly, but I will force them on people to watch their faces as they register cumin in a jelly bean. And then we’ll finally have something to talk about that isn’t the world’s impending doom.
Hi! I’m the editor-in-chief of Sporked. I will never turn down a fresh-shucked oyster but I’ll also leap at whatever new product Reese’s releases and I love a Tostitos Hint of Lime, even if there is no actual lime in the ingredients.
Why you should trust me: I have been writing about food and beverages for well over a decade and am an avid at-home cook and snacker. I began my career writing about fine dining and recipes, moved into cocktails and spirits, and now I talk about groceries. If you can eat it or drink it, I’ve probably written about it.
What I buy every week: Trader Joe’s dried okra. Appleton Farms prosciutto from Aldi. Some sort of Trader Joe’s cheese (I’m into the aged gouda at the moment). Frozen waffles (usually the Eggo Cinnamon Toast Minis). Spindrift water (loving the Cosmopolitan right now).
Favorite ranking: Smoked salmon. Imagine me as Scrooge McDuck but instead of coins I’m diving into a vault of slippery smoked salmon slices. Pure joy. I also found some real steals in that taste test!
Least favorite ranking: Canned oysters. I had such high hopes for this but it quickly became a chore. The kitchen smelled like an uncleaned aquarium.
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