Yes, Costco Is Selling a SPAM Gift Box. Yes, It’s $60

Costco is selling a SPAM variety gift set that comes with its very own SPAM slicer. What are the flavors? What the hell is a SPAM slicer? How much does it cost? Oh, I’ve got all that info and more, friends. 

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Food gifts are some of my favorites to give, but you have to be smart and personal about it. A box of chocolates? Bo-ring. A mini hot sauce sampler? Cute, but overdone. This Sugarfina Sweet & Sparkling Candy Bento Box from Costco? Okay, damn, I guess that’s kinda cool. But you know what would be even cooler? 

SPAM. And lots of it. 

Costco’s SPAM Variety Gift Set comes with nine cans, a SPAM slicer, and retails for $59.99. 

Stop. You know, you really had me in the first half, Costco. But how on earth could nine cans of SPAM and a slicer cost $60? Are they big cans? (No.) Are they limited-edition flavors? (No.) Is there a small but life-altering chance to find a golden ticket hiding in the box that would finally give me an exclusive tour of the SPAM factory? (No.) 

Make it make sense, Costco!

Guys, brace yourselves. I’m about to do math. 

The gift set has three SPAM flavors, with three cans per flavor. The three flavors are: 

• SPAM 25% Less Sodium (12 oz, retails for around $4 a can)
• SPAM Teriyaki (12 oz, retails for around $4.20 a can)
• SPAM Jalapeño (12 oz, retails for around $4.20 a can)

That’s around $37 to $38 worth of SPAM in this box set. Where’s the missing $22? You can’t possibly think a SPAM slicer is worth $22. I mean, even SPAM doesn’t think so! Their branded wire slicer—a nifty if highly specialized gadget that slices an entire can of luncheon meat into nine even slices—costs $12 at the SPAM Shop website. Am I paying for the cardboard box it comes in??