Erewhon Just Dropped a New Smoothie for Barbie’s Birthday

Because I know most of you forgot to put this in your calendar (shame on you), today, March 9, is Barbie’s birthday. If you haven’t called or texted her yet—or god forbid, you’re reading this tomorrow—I have the perfect gift to make it up to her. It’s the new Erewhon smoothie crafted in Barbie’s honor. Don’t worry: It will cost as much, if not more, than a good birthday present anyway, so she’ll definitely appreciate it! Now go get it! (And for the love of god, stop forgetting your BFF’s birthdays!!!) 

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Is this your roundabout way of telling me that Erewhon came out with a smoothie for Barbie’s birthday? 

Yes. It’s called the Birthday Wish Smoothie, and it dropped today. It’s a fruit smoothie that looks like a birthday cake. “How can a fruit smoothie look like a birthday cake, Ariana?” You know, once you eat a potato chip that tastes exactly like IHOP’s Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity Pancakes, you stop asking what’s possible in the realm of food science. This new Erewhon smoothie has vivid pink and beige layers with sprinkles on top, and the effect is very cake-like. 

The taste, however, seems to be pretty banana-forward, according to early reviews. I pulled all of the ingredients for you guys, in case you want a good laugh—it’s like an SNL skit of “eco-friendly” brands. 

• MALK Organic Oat Milk 
• Harmless Harvest Organic Coconut Water
• Zuma Valley Coconut Whip
• Beyond Good Pure Ground Vanilla
• Good Dee’s Sprinkles
• Regenerative Organic Certified Erewhon A2 Whey
• Organic GF oats
• Organic banana
• Organic tocos
• Organic goji berries
• Organic maple syrup
• Organic pitaya

You can’t make this up!!!

Okay. Stop stalling. How much is this new Erewhon smoothie?

It’s $21. Not including tip, btw. Honestly, that’s pretty comparable to most specialty Erewhon smoothies. (The Hailey Bieber smoothie is the same price.) Importantly: The Birthday Wish Smoothie is only available for one month, from today (March 9) until April 8. If you want to try it, well. Consider meal prepping with instant ramen for the next couple of weeks. That should leave some room in the budget. 

Barbie wouldn’t want me to spend $21 on a smoothie. Barbie is a socialist. Barbie understands the value of the US dollar. 

Barbie may be a socialist, but Mattel, the company that distributes, owns, and dresses her, is the second largest toy manufacturer in the world, raking in over $5 billion annually in revenue. Remember: You are Barbie. I am Barbie. We’re all Barbie, and Barbie is all of us. 

But also… Erewhon is donating $2 of every smoothie bought to the Barbie Dream Gap Project, an initiative aimed at closing the gender pay gap, so maybe it’s not all bad?