Is Five Guys Changing Its Fries? Here’s What’s Actually Happening

If you’ve been seeing headlines claiming that Five Guys is changing its french fries and people are rioting over it, first: Take a deep breath. It’s not what you think, I promise. 

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Five Guys’ french fry recipe is staying the same. It’s the portion sizes that have people worried. 

Five Guys is replacing their french fry cups with eco-friendly bags. That’s it. That’s the news. It’s reportedly to keep the hand-cut side of the fries fresher, which I find funny, because Five Guys french fries are some of the freshest in the game. But okay. Seems innocuous enough. 

So why are people upset? Well, it doesn’t help that we’ve lost all trust in corporate America and expect at any given moment to be screwed over by the hands that feed us. Portion sizes are getting tinier everywhere and prices are only going up. This change could be easily seen as a way for Five Guys to reset expectations and start sneakily cutting back on portion sizes. And if that happens, man… it’s the beginning of the end. For the burger chain and the rest of humanity. 

Five Guys is notoriously generous with its french fries. In fact, I’d say it’s the reason this chain made it big to begin with. 

It’s downright magical, the way you’re always able to find a greasy fry at the bottom of the bag. I’ve never finished a Five Guys meal still hungry. It’s possible I’ve never finished a Five Guys meal, period. It’s like the bag is connected to a kitchen of house elves that just keep refilling it once you’re down to your last few. 

The burger chain insists that its “generous portions” will remain the same. And all I’m going to say to Five Guys CEO Jerry Murrel is this: Don’t do us dirty, Jer-Bear. You’re getting great press right now for handing out 1.5 million bucks in bonuses to your employees. Don’t ruin it by suddenly being cheap and sneaky with the best fast food fries in the biz. Yeah, I said what I said.