New Fast Food Desserts You NEED to Try Right Now

If you haven’t been to the dentist in a while, it’s time to give that sadistic bastard a call. I recommend setting the appointment for, like, two months out. That gives you enough time to try all of these crazy delicious new dessert items hitting the fast food world right now—with a slightly clearer conscience, knowing your enamel will be properly looked after post-sugar craze. 

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I can’t stress enough how totally nuts this April dessert drop is. And that’s not a pun about all the new Dubai chocolate stuff, which I’ll talk about in a bit. I’m just in awe over these new sweet treats. Let’s break ‘em down.

A new McFlurry is at McDonald’s… and it’s inspired by an Oscar-winning film. 

Yes, film. Not movie. Not cartoon. K-Pop Demon Hunters is a film, okay. It’s high art. Just like the new Derpy McFlurry at McDonald’s. This new McFlurry is based on the film’s blue magical tiger, Derpy, and blends vanilla soft swerve with sweet berry sauce and popping boba pearls. Apparently, it turns your tongue blue, just like Derpy. There are tears in my eyes as I write this. I’m so serious. I just love Derpy so much and I think this is so f*cking cute. Now let’s move on before my cuteness aggression comes out in full swing.

Jack-in-the-Box drops a brand new Dr Pepper shake!

As of today (April 6th), you can order this new beaut from Jack-in-the-Box: a Dr Pepper Strawberries and Cream Shake. Hubba hubba. If only you could see me making googly eyes at this thing.

But that’s not all!

On May 16th, Jack-in-the-Box celebrates its birthday with a new Purple Birthday Cake Whipped Topping that you can order on any beverage. Definitely leaning into your Taurus self there, Jack. (Grounded, relaxed, pleasure-seeking, a true lover of comfort and food.)

Baskin Robbins launches an entire Dubai chocolate menu to order from. 

If you thought the Dubai chocolate trend was slowing down, oh buddy, hold on to your seats. This new menu at Baskin Robbins is so gloriously outrageous, my jaw was open just typing this out. Here we go:

• Pistachio Chocolate Bar Ice Cream: swirls of pistachio and chocolate ice cream with pistachio pieces and chocolate crunch swirls
• Dubai Chocolate Sundae: Three scoops of Pistachio Chocolate Bar Ice Cream layered with hot fudge and kadayif, topped with pistachio sauce, whipped cream, and a fudge drizzle.
• Dubai Chocolate Shake: Pistachio Chocolate Bar Ice Cream blended with milk and pistachio sauce, served in a cup coated with a chocolate drizzle. It’s all topped with whipped cream, pistachio sauce, and kadayif.

They technically debuted this Dubai Chocolate menu last November for a limited time, and I can see why fans were chomping at the bit for it. Well, it’s back now, and it’s staying through May. 

Oh, and in case the ice cream, sundae, and shake weren’t enough, Baskin Robbins has also debuted a brand new Dubai Chocolate Inspired Cake in a Box. It’s basically the Dubai Chocolate Bar Ice Cream layered on top of pistachio cream and chocolate cake. Look, they really went for this trend, and I’m totally here for it.

Cold Stone has also hopped on the Dubai Chocolate trend with one new dessert.

It’s called Cold Stone’s “Dubai Chocolate Creation,” and the ingredients include chocolate ice cream, pistachio cream, kadayif, and chocolate shavings. It honestly looks freaking delicious. I will personally be pushing for us to do a side-by-side taste test comparison with Baskin Robbins on camera, so stay tuned for that. 

Krispy Kreme celebrates the dark side of the moon.

In honor of the deepest space voyage we’ve ever made in the history of human civilization, Krispy Kreme launched a brand new Artemis II OREO Donut. I’m taking this as a good sign that the dystopian sci-fi novel we’re all currently living in is, in fact, a comedy. This new Krispy Kreme donut has blue vanilla flavored icing, OREO crunch sprinkles with glittery white nonpareils, cookies and creme buttercream, and a red chevron topping inspired by NASA’s logo. It’s only available through April 10th, so grab it while you still can! 

And last but certainly not least: DQ Summer Blizzards are officially here.

Dairy Queen’s three summer Blizzards have hit the menu early. Two are returning flavors, and one is a brand new Dairy Queen Blizzard we’ve never seen before. 

• Cotton Candy Blizzard (returning): vanilla soft serve with pink cotton candy syrup and blue and pink sprinkles
• S’mores Blizzard (returning): vanilla soft serve with marshmallow-filled DQ chocolate bars, crunchy graham crackers, and a marshmallow topping
• Angel Food Cake Blizzard (NEW): vanilla soft serve with a strawberry topping, angel food cake pieces, and whipped cream

The Angel Food Cake Blizzard should be fruity, fluffy, and a little lighter than the other seasonal Blizzards, matching the more delicate art of a real Angel Food Cake. 

God, I feel like I’ve run a marathon just announcing all of these new fast food desserts to you. I imagine I’ll feel similarly once I’ve tried every single one of them. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a dentist appointment to book. See ya!