Trader Joe’s Just Added a Bottled Martini to Its Liquor Shelves

There I was in Trader Joe’s, trying to get all the shopping done before my kids had a full meltdown because I didn’t get them the new sour fruit leathers (we already have fruit leathers at home, dammit!), when suddenly I stopped. There, standing shoulder to shoulder with Trader Joe’s bottled Espresso Martini, was Trader Joe’s bottled Martini. Not some sort of sweet, fruity Martini. We’re talking James Bond’s drink of choice. 

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What’s the deal with Trader Joe’s bottled Martini?

After doing some searching, it seems like this is a totally new Trader Joe’s product. It’s made with gin and vodka (like a Vesper, fun!), along with vermouth. And it’s 52 proof (26% ABV). The 375ml bottle (that’s about four cocktails’ worth) costs $10, which is a darn good deal considering a Martini at a bar can cost upwards of $18 or more these days. 

One of my favorite cocktails is a pre-made Martini straight out of the freezer. You make a big batch, bottle it, and leave it in the freezer for a day. The booze won’t freeze, but it will become silky and absolutely wonderful. This new Trader Joe’s bottled cocktail could be a shortcut for that. 

Is it any good?

I haven’t gotten the chance to try it myself, yet, but a couple of internet people have and, unfortunately, the reviews are less than glowing. On Threads, @drinksbywild gave it a straightforward “pass” and said it was a “waste of $10.” Ouch. One commenter agreed, calling it “absolute crap.” It hasn’t fared much better on Reddit where one commenter said it’s not great. “I had to make it a swampy Dirty Martini. I couldn’t add enough olives to make it palatable,” they added. Oof. 

So, the outlook isn’t great. But I still need to try it for myself to pass judgement. (I enjoyed their bottled Espresso Martini, after all.) Stay tuned to Sporked for our official review.