You Won’t Catch Us At This Fast Food Chain In 2026

I’m an opinionated guy. Particularly when it comes to things I don’t enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll champion things I do love like anyone would, but there’s something about ranting about how bad something is that sucks me in. I try to use my powers for good. I know what I’m about to say is going to really heat some people up though. You’ve been warned. This isn’t easy to say, but I need to say it. The fast food chain you won’t dare catch me at in 2026 is none other than California’s beloved In-N-Out.

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Don’t Get Your Pitchforks Out Just Yet

At least hear me out! There’s an endless list of things at In-N-Out that I don’t love. But I’ll try to be fair in my critique. The most glaring thing that’s wrong with the fast food chain is the need to doctor everything up. Why even have a menu if you have to order from the secret menu or it’s a wasted trip?

How has a restaurant built a menu that is so utterly flimsy that you’re borderline punched in the face if you dare try to order something basic. Everyone will warn you before you go. “Oh you have to order your burger animal style. Don’t forget to get your fries well done.” Well if I need to do all that, why don’t they just make the secret menu…not a secret?!

Which leads me into my next gripe. No matter how much I try to mess with the fries, they are just plain bad. Not mediocre, not passable―god awful. I would rather eat the cardboard they come in than eat the actual fries.

What No One Is Even Talking About

Have you ever had a shake from In-N-Out? I don’t think so! Mainly because I don’t even know how those thick-as-hell things can be considered milk shakes. There is no shaking to be done there! They are thick as concrete. News flash–concretes are served at Culver’s and they’re delicious. You have to leave an In-N-Out shake sitting on the counter for at least an hour to get it to any state that you can drink through a straw. That is criminal.

Speaking Of Straws… The Final Straw

My friend likes to defend In-N-Out for how cheap it is (fair) but stresses the importance of having to eat it right away. If I can’t drive my fast food to my home that is five minutes away before it can’t be properly consumed, what’s the point?! Just make it a sit down restaurant!

In a world where McDonald’s is a solid choice at all times and Culver’s is the premium fast food chain (which unfortunately doesn’t service as many markets that In-N-Out does) there is just so little use for In-N-Out to me. I would rather grill up my own burger, cut my own fries, and deep fry them before I ever went back to that utter disappointment.