You know that icebreaker game, Two Truths and a Lie? This article is gonna be similar. Let’s call it Two Facts and a Rumor. Two Coca-Cola variants have been quietly discontinued (one diet and one full sugar), and we’ve been hearing some hot gossip about a third one getting axed as well. Any version of Diet Coke getting tossed is surprising, considering that entire line’s stranglehold on the American public. Let’s start with what we know, and end with what the little birdies have been saying through the grapevine.
Bye bye, Diet Coke with Splenda
Diet Coke with Splenda has been asked to leave the island. Die-hard fans likely saw this coming, since Diet Coke with Splenda saw reduced availability during the aluminum shortage of the early COVID era. Per extremely unverified anecdotal evidence, Diet Coke with Splenda never returned to pre-COVID availability even after the aluminum shortage was resolved. (Is it obvious one of my parents was a Diet Coke with Splenda fanatic?) Unfortunately for fans like one of my parents, Coca-Cola revealed the news of Diet Coke with Splenda’s demise on the sinking ship formerly known as Twitter.
So long, Cherry Vanilla Coke
The thinking man’s flavored Coke, Coca-Cola Cherry Vanilla, has been discontinued. Per the announcement (again, made on X formerly known as Twitter for some reason), Coca-Cola has taken Cherry Vanilla off shelves due to “constantly changing” consumer tastes. In reality, I think someone at Coca-Cola realized that anyone who really needs Cherry Vanilla Coke can just pour separate cans of the still-available Cherry and Vanilla Cokes into a glass. That’s twice as many twelve-packs being sold, probably!
Ciao, Coca-Cola Spiced (maybe)
Alright, take everything you read next with a couple grains of salt. This rumor has been floating around long enough from previously-consistent sources, so I’m comfortable talking about it on a “maybe!” level. Allegedly, Coca-Cola Spiced is underperforming to the degree that it’s going to be quietly shoved under the rug in the hopes no one notices it was ever here. Now, I didn’t like Coke Spiced. Sporked’s Gwynedd Stuart barely liked Coke Spiced. My grandma thought Coke Spiced was “too punchy.” I don’t know anyone who’d be heartbroken to find out it’s going away forever. Once Coca-Cola sends out their favorite form of press release (a tweet), I’ll be sure to update this piece with the autopsy report.