I have been to Las Vegas exactly once and let me tell you, it wasn’t my scene. Granted, I was ten years old, so it’s not like I was playing roulette, or drinking a long tube of alcohol, or organizing a heist with ten other dudes to rob casinos and win back Julia Roberts. You know, the normal things people do in Vegas.
But thanks to Doritos, we can now feel like we’re in Vegas without even leaving the house. Because Cool Ranch Doritos Roulette is back, baby! And you don’t even have to rob a casino, because it’s available for purchase at Walmart.
What is Cool Ranch Doritos Roulette? Is it safe? Can you win big? Will I turn into Danny Ocean?
Well, roulette is a game of chance. And so is Cool Ranch Doritos Roulette, because it’s basically a bag of regular Cool Ranch Doritos, except some of the chips (approximately one per handful) are very spicy. If Forrest Gump’s mama were alive today, she might’ve altered her metaphor to say that life is like a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos Roulette—you really never know what you’re gonna get. And it might be a lot spicier than expected.
Metaphors aside, these chips sound super good. I mean they’re Doritos. I’m not sure there’s a level of spice they could reach where I wouldn’t enjoy them. Although, maybe the surprise factor makes it spicier? Either way, if you’re a person who likes spice, Cool Ranch Doritos, and the idea of a bag of chips keeping you on your toes, then this may just be your perfect snack. Plus, it’s a lot cheaper than going to Vegas, and lower stakes than robbing a casino.
I like this idea, but could it be improved? I still know that I am expecting a spicy chip every once in a while. What if you bought the bag and you didn’t know if the entire contents were regular cool ranch, spicy cool ranch, or extreme cool ranch? I think that would be more of a gamble…a delicious gamble.