What Girl Scout Cookie Are You Based On Your Sign?

It is that time of year, my dudes. That time of year when those unique, colorful boxes adorn the teeny tiny tables outside of every grocery store in the country. When little girls learn to be entrepreneurs. And when we adults learn that sometimes self-control is overrated and a sleeve of Thin Mints is an excellent alternative to dinner. Yes, it is finally Girl Scout cookie season, and since they have given us the gift of having exactly 12 flavors of cookie this year, naturally, we have to tell you which cookie you are based on your zodiac sign. So feel free to tagalong while we earn our horoscope badge (is that one of them? I only did Girl Scouts for six months).

Aries (March 21-April 19): Samoas/Caramel deLites

Aries are competitive and love to win, and I feel like every year it is a neck-and-neck battle between Samoas and Thin Mints. Ultimately, for my money, Samoas are slightly less polarizing and thus ever so slightly more well-liked (based on absolutely no evidence, just vibes). Aries people are the same—everyone likes them and they are not super polarizing, but they stand out as a leader in any group.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Tagalongs/Peanut Butter Patties

Tagalongs are the creamiest and dreamiest of the cookies. And I find the creaminess of the PB and the chocolate together to be such a soothing combo. Similarly, Tauruses tend to be a soothing presence so these cookies have to be them. But don’t get me wrong, Tauruses still know how to have fun, which is why they also have to be one of the six cookie varieties that contain chocolate.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Do-si-dos/Peanut Butter Sandwich

Sandwich cookies have two distinct parts by nature: the cookie and the filling. Geminis also have two different parts by nature: the opposing aspects of their personalities. They are funky and intense, hotheaded and kind, calm and off-the-walls energetic. Kind of like these cookies, which consist of both crunchy oatmeal cookies and PB filling. With both Geminis and Do-si-dos, you get the best of both worlds.

Cancer (June 21-July 22): Trefoils

Okay, hear me out. I know trefoils get a bad rap for being kind of…well…plain. But while they may seem boring on the outside, there is so much to unpack with these. They are super versatile and are one of the few Girl Scout cookies that would be great dipped in something, plus, they have a name that means absolutely nothing to most people. What is a trefoil?!?!?! Anyway, all of this is very Cancer, from the slightly boring first impression to the compatibility with different people/flavors to the mystery of the name right beneath the surface—these have to be Cancers.

Leo (July 23-August 22): Thin Mints

I don’t think this merits an explanation. How could Thin Mints NOT be Leos?

Virgo (August 23-September 22): Girl Scout S’mores

Virgos are busy. So busy, in fact, that they have no time to make s’mores on an actual outdoor flame. These cookies are a solution to that problem, created by Girl Scouts specifically for Virgos (or so it would seem). A S’moretcut, if you will.

Libra (September 23-October 22): Adventurefuls

I have never had these Girl Scout cookies because they’re relatively new (they were released in 2022). But hoooo boi, do they look balanced, and there is nothing a good ol’ Libra loves more than good ol’ balance. These are brownie cookies with caramel crème and sea salt. Sweet, salty, crunchy, chewy—boom. Sounds like a Libra home run to me.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Caramel Chocolate Chip

I have never actually seen these cookies and, thus, they are very mysterious to me. This makes them the perfect match for the most mysterious of signs, Scorpio. Am I projecting my own life experiences (or lack thereof) onto this zodiac sign/cookie match-up? Absolutely. Will I still get a badge? God, I hope so. External validation is the only way I measure success and that is very healthy of me, I think.

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Lemon-Ups

Sagittarians are knowledge seekers, so I have some knowledge I would like them to seek out for me: How are these Lemon-Ups any different from Lemonades? I know they have inspiring messages for young leaders and no frosting on the bottom, but are those the only two differences? Also, as I mentioned before, these have inspiring messages on them, and messages is words. And words? Words is knowledge! Eat your heart out, Sagittarians. With these bad boys you can literally ~consume knowledge~.

Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Lemonades

Capricorns are very patient by nature, and if you are like me and you eat Lemonades by licking the lemon icing part until it is gone, then you know it takes a while to soften…a long while. But Capricorns are also the most mature of the signs, so they probably don’t eat cookies this way.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Toast-Yay!

What is this name? What is this marketing? Was this cookie named by a child whose favorite meal is toast right after they were told they were getting toast? Was it named by queen of quirkiness Zooey Deschanel herself? Say what you will about these French toast-inspired cookies, the name is very unique. And there is nothing Aquarians love more than being unique.

Pisces (February 19-March 20): Toffee-tastic

There are few foods sweeter than toffee, just like there are few people sweeter than Pisces folks. They are sensitive, romantic, and sweet, but also have a flair for the dramatic. I took this one very literally. Toffee is sweet and “tastic” is a way to add dramatic flair to any word to make it more ~word-tastic~. These things just screamed Pisces to me (not literally, that would be terrifying but also very spicy Pisces of them).