Did you know Monster Energy’s parent company produces drinks besides Monster Energy? In addition to Monster Energy and no less than three other energy drink brands, Monster Beverage Company also produces the following drinks under the iconic Monster branding: Monster Tour Water (canned still and sparkling waters that Monster has actually been making longer than Liquid Death), The Beast Unleashed malt beverages, Nasty Beast hard teas, and the topic of today’s review: hard lemonade. Yes, I had to go to the largest alcoholic beverage store in the United States to get my hands on Monster’s Blind Lemon hard lemonade. I braved Kentucky for this variety 12-pack; let’s see if it was worth it.
Pros: An authentic lemon aroma hit me in the nose as soon as I opened this can. And, after taking a sip, I can confidently say both the smell and taste are strong as hell. For a 6% ABV drink, this has a mean suckerpunch. (Or is it a puckerpunch?)
Cons: I’m a big fan of hard lemonade, but this is a little too “lemon juice mixed with a beer” for me. That said, when I’m buying hard lemonades, I rarely go for just lemonade; the lord invented flavors for a reason.
Pros: The peach’s fruity sweetness mutes the lemonade’s harshness down from “kitchen cleaner” to “state fair shake-up.” This combination could just as easily be sipped or chugged, depending on the situation.
Cons: I could do with a little more peach. They meant for this to be peach-flavored, but I’d classify this as peach-inspired.
Pros: If you’re tired of syrupy-sweet strawberry flavoring, this is the drink for you. This strawberry lemonade tastes like someone just squeezed it into a bucket out by the barn.
Cons: I swear some drinks boast about an “authentic fruit flavor” without realizing they’ve landed past authentic right into tasting unripe. My first sip immediately brought half-green strawberries to mind—not my favorite type, to say the least. Still, it gets points for enthusiasm.
Pros: I sampled this one last in the hopes it would blow me away. At least I know myself—this was definitely my favorite flavor out of the four. The cherry flavor elevates the lemonade without overshadowing it.
Cons: This is a smidge too close to cough syrup—and I say that as someone who enjoys IBC Black Cherry Soda without wincing. I could down this can in short order, but I’d switch to a different flavor for round two.
Credit: Liv Averett / Total Wine
Rating:
8.5/10
Sporks
Which Blind Lemon hard lemonade do you want to see in the cooler at your next barbecue?
Griffin Parker is a writer, "influencer", and generally very-busy person based in Columbus, Ohio. He's sacrificed countless hours in the pursuit of ranking Lindt Lindor truffles, HI-CHEW candies, and more. When he's not writing for Sporked or running @SodaSeekers, you can find Griffin espousing the virtues of Dayton-style pizza, Cincinnati-style chili, and Dolly Parton's Fabulously Double Fudge Brownie Mix.
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Griffin Parker
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