6 Foods We Can’t Wait to Try in March

Not to brag, but we have pretty cool jobs here at Sporked. It’s our prerogative to keep up with the coolest, yummiest, most off-the-wall, wackadoodle new food products hitting the shelves. And look, I’ll tell you right now, there’s something in the air going into March. Maybe it’s the two fringe holidays coming up (Easter and St. Patrick’s Day), but brands are going a little crazy, and we’re here for it. Between Easter M&Ms, two new Spindrift flavors, and dessert taco shells, there are some delicious and absurd products out there we can’t wait to try in March. (And no, not all of these are completely new food products—but they’re at least new to us.)

Cinnamon Toast Crunch Taco Shells

We’ve been freaking out about these dessert taco shells for weeks. Old El Paso is finally giving the people what they want (and have been asking for since May 2023, when a writer from @theimpulsivebuy published an article requesting this collab specifically—you deserve royalties, Marvo). The box depicts ice cream in a taco shell. Say it with me: Ice cream. In a taco shell. Which, yes, does imply that you will be biting into ice cream. But honestly? Who cares about my last two brain cells; freeze those idiots. The heart wants what it wants, and that’s caramel ice cream in a crispy crunchy taco shell, please and thank you. (If these shells turn out to be any good, there will be a fight for leftovers in the Sporked office.)

New Spindrift Flavors: Grapeade and Island Punch

Controversially, the Sporked team is known to prefer Spindrift to other sparkling water brands like (*takes three steps back*) LaCroix. Go ahead, flame us in the comments. We don’t need to be loved, just respected enough to continue having a platform where we get to say how gosh tootin’ happy we are to add two new Spindrift flavors to our repertoire: Grapeade and Island Punch. Grapeade is made with real Concord grapes and, according to Spindrift, will taste like your childhood. A bold statement, but I’ll bite. Island Punch mixes passion fruit, orange, and guava for their take on classic POG.

Fishwife Sardines with Hot Pepper

We’ve got an update of our ranking of the best canned sardines on the docket for March, and these Fishwife Sardines with Hot Pepper just look so enticing. There’s a common misconception among the general public that canned sardines are, in fact, disgusting and not worth your time. And sure, you’re entitled to that opinion—just like I’m entitled to throw a handful of tiny fish at your face for being stubborn and obtuse. Sardines are amazing. And fancy Fishwife Sardines hand-packed in Galicia, Spain, infused with lemon, extra virgin olive oil, and hot pepper? Weird way to propose, but I accept. 

Easter Sundae M&M’s

In January, we reported on the news that Easter Sundae M&Ms were coming back with a mildly inappropriate Jesus joke written by an anxious new Sporked writer who feared her opening paragraph might spell the end of her career. (Me. It was me, and it was baby’s first Sporked article, okay?) Well, now we finally get to try these white and dark chocolate M&Ms, and I’m antsy with anticipation. Will Jesus resurrect as the sweet sweet snack we know he is? What’s the body of Christ without a little hot fudge, am I right? Justine, am I fired yet?

Honey Mustard Pringles

Pringles answered the prayers of the masses: They officially brought back the fan favorite honey mustard flavor, and we’re finally going to try them for the first time! As a honey mustard devotee, I could easily see these being a pantry staple at the Sporked and Mythical offices. 

IHOP Lay’s Potato Chips

You know, when we first heard about IHOP Lay’s Potato Chips, we could barely figure out if this was a real product or a hoax. The initial advertising around the release of this pancake-flavored chip was oddly cryptic and, ultimately, not received well by the internet. Have you ever had a friend confess romantic feelings for you in a roundabout way, so when you reject them, they can claim they never really confessed anything in the first place? The IHOP Lays Potato Chip announcement was kind of like that. To be honest, though, now I’m only more intrigued to get my hands on these breakfast chips. (Which, technically speaking, can we call them breakfast potatoes? Thoughts?) I just need to know the deal. Apparently it’s going to be exclusively available at Walmart for a limited time…but I’ll believe it when I see it. 

About the Author

Ariana Losch

Ariana Losch is a Sporked contributor, webcomic writer, java junkie, and bad TV enthusiast. She only ever feels at peace laying out on a beach like a kebab, roasting in the sun; sadly, she can never move back to Florida, her home state, because there simply isn’t enough good Mediterranean food. You can find her overstaying her welcome at just about every LA coffee shop, working on a screenplay and avoiding all eye contact. (She is embarrassed to be there, please leave her alone.)

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