The Next Fake Meats We’d Like to See (Sup, Gardein)

Today, the fake meat world is vast and diverse. My parents don’t eat meat and I grew up in the ‘90s, so I grew up eating the one vegan burgers Gardenburger made. Don’t get me wrong, they were good! I loved them and they sustained me throughout elementary school. In 2023, things are completely different.

You can find a fake meat version of everything. Well, almost everything. That’s why I made this list! These proteins are the final frontier for fake meat. I want these products veganized sooner than later. If you’re a plant based meat company and you’re reading this, please make these fake meat products (and then pay me because they’re my idea).

Steak Tartare

If I see one more recipe online for vegan beef tartar using beets, I’m going to freak! Beets taste nothing like raw beef. They’re just kind of the same color. I want something that actually tastes like steak tartare. I want to bust it out at parties and impress everyone. Companies have started making vegan caviar, so why not veganify this other luxury animal product?


Obviously, I could buy Impossible or Beyond meat and make this myself, but that’s not what I want. I want to be able to buy premade vegan kebabs already seasoned and formed. I want to be able to slap it in a pan or toss it into an air fryer. It would be such a good, easy meal if you put it on pita with some hummus and sliced cucumber.

Char Siu Pork

I have always wanted to eat char siu pork. It’s a Cantonese-style roast meat dish that looks delicious, but I don’t eat pork. What I need is a plant based version of this sweet and savory and juicy pork. In general, vegan pork is hard to find, so these fake meat makers need to step up their game. And when they step up that game, give me char siu!


Fishless fish is getting more and more popular, but I think it’s time we get vegan eel. I want to make rolls at home. I feel like the smoky taste and flaky texture should be relatively easy to accomplish with plants. There has to be a mushroom out there that can replicate the eel you get at a sushi restaurant.

Burnt Ends

Have you ever seen the seasoned crust on burnt ends at a BBQ restaurant? These meaty brisket chunks look incredible, and people who don’t eat meat deserve to taste this deliciousness. I want something juicy and heavily seasoned that is totally plant based and can be heated up in my microwave. Is that too much to ask?

About the Author

Jordan Myrick

Jordan is an L.A.-based writer and comedian who believes all food should come with extra sauce. When they're not writing for Sporked, Jordan is at the movies or sharing an order of french fries with their elderly chihuahua.

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