The Weirdest New High Protein Products We’ve Seen Lately

Food trends are hard to keep up with. First we had protein-packed snacks for body builders. Then fiber became the new protein. But don’t blink, we’re back to protein again, this time for round two for GLP-1 users.

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Between the rubber band of trends and absolute goofery that food companies are using to break into an already saturated market, it’s a lot to handle. That’s why I figured we should have a little fun with things. There are some weird protein products out there. We’ve drifted into some odd territory once we got past protein packed pancakes. You’re probably wondering by now just how weird it could really be. Let me show you.

Koia Protein Pop

First and foremost, props to Koia for getting it right. It’s pop, damn it! My Midwest roots won’t let me call it anything else and I’m glad someone finally sees me for who I am. That being said…protein pop, really? I mean I guess you gotta get it in any way you can, but as you can tell from Gwynedd’s review of this one, it didn’t quite stick the landing. 

Cup Noodles Protein Ramen

“Oh no I have to meet my protein goal but I’m really craving a cup of instant ramen. Whatever will I do?!” Boy, do I have good news for you. Cup Noodles has somehow taken it upon themselves to actually deliver a decent tasting protein ramen. That said, it’s still an abomination of a mashup so it makes our list.

Insomnia Cookies Protein Cookies

Insomnia Cookies has turned two of their flavors, Loaded Cookie Butter Deluxe and Double Chocolate Cookie Dough Deluxe, into protein-filled monstrosities. Admittedly, this one is so novel that it works. What a benefit to society to make a dessert that also helps you fulfill your protein requirements. However, it goes against the very nature of what a cookie should be, so it earns a place on this list.

Papa John’s Protein Pizza Crust

The caveat here is that Papa John’s protein pizza crust has only been tested at one store. So there’s still time to salvage things, Papa John’s. Just kidding. Like I have that kind of influence on a company the size of Papa John’s. I don’t actually want to stop the production of any of these snacks for what it’s worth. My job’s just to report on the oddities so that’s what I’m here to do!

Buffalo Wild Wings’ Protein Espresso Martini

Actually, I have to eat my words. I do, and would, stop this one if I had the power. A protein packed Espresso Martini that actually has added Buffalo dry rub to taste like a chicken wing is too far for me. It was fun while it lasted, but pack up the entire show.