This press release had my eyes bugging out: Panda Express chocolate bars? Yes, the classy people at Compartés have released four unique chocolate bars based on different Panda Express menu items—and they were nice enough to ship me a pack to try for myself. Read on to find out if honey walnut shrimp and chocolate are actually a good match.
Original Orange
Panda Express The Original Orange Milk Chocolate Bar
Pros: How does a chocolate bar emulate Panda Express’ most famous entree, Orange Chicken? Crisped rice (like you’d find in a Crunch bar) for a shockingly-accurate texture, real orange for flavor, and just a dash of red chili pepper flakes for a light heat. Those combine into a chocolate bar with a unique mouthfeel and great flavor—my favorite out of the whole pack.
Cons: I’d like this even more if it was dark chocolate, but I could say that about literally any milk chocolate on earth.
Pros: This is definitely the most pedestrian bar in the pack: walnuts, honey, and honeycomb bits enrobed in white chocolate won’t instantly bring Panda Express’ Honey Walnut Shrimp to mind. But the texture is great and the flavor is casually pleasant.
Cons: Is white chocolate anyone’s favorite chocolate though? Unfortunately, this Honey Walnut is blown out of the water by the other white chocolate bar in the pack. Read on for details…
Pros: The Original Orange bar was made with red pepper flakes, but this dark chocolate bar has full shreds of chili pepper along with chopped peanuts and sea salt. It puts off a strong heat, but it isn’t oppressive, you know? Unless you’re having multiple pieces at a time, this shouldn’t have you sweating to death. The dark chocolate is fantastic and the peanuts add great texture, as they always do in chocolate bars.
Cons: It feels like a personal offense that the only dark chocolate bar is paired with chili peppers. As a devout dark chocolate lover and complete wimp in the spice game, it hurts that I can’t crush more of this bar at a time. (It also hurts when I try.)
Pros: Finally, we come to dessert, a fortune cookie-inspired chocolate bar—how could it be anything else? This bar is packed with crunchy chunks of real Panda Express fortune cookies that entirely cover up the white chocolate flavor (a good thing because I’m not a big fan). This bar is absolutely killer. Panda Express should consider handing out little Andes-sized bites of this in lieu of actual fortune cookies.
Cons: While I think I’d enjoy a milk or dark chocolate base more, I can’t argue with the choice to let that fortune cookie flavor shine.
Credit: Liv Averett / Compartes
Rating:
9/10
Sporks
Which Panda Express Compartes bar sounds best to you?
Griffin Parker is a writer, "influencer", and generally very-busy person based in Columbus, Ohio. He's sacrificed countless hours in the pursuit of ranking Lindt Lindor truffles, HI-CHEW candies, and more. When he's not writing for Sporked or running @SodaSeekers, you can find Griffin espousing the virtues of Dayton-style pizza, Cincinnati-style chili, and Dolly Parton's Fabulously Double Fudge Brownie Mix.
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