Our Honest Review of the New Monster Rehab Green Tea

Back in my day, Monster Energy drinks were what you would drink when you didn’t want any of those old, fuddy-duddy sources of caffeine. They were the energy drinks for people who were too cool for cold brew or iced tea. But now, here we are. Monster has an entire line of coffee-flavored energy drinks with their Coffee + Energy selection, and now there’s Rehab Monster Green Tea. 

Okay, so this Green Tea Rehab Monster isn’t strictly new. It’s returning to shelves after it was discontinued (perhaps because of a 2012 lawsuit, we’re not sure). Is it better than ever? Or were the “potentially dangerous” levels of epigallocatechin-3-gallate in the original Green Tea Rehab Monster the key to its success? We cracked a can to find out.

Rehab Monster Green Tea

New Monster Rehab!

Rehab Monster Green Tea

Even though I think this goes against the whole purpose of Monster (Monster flavors should be extreme and green tea is not extreme), I was excited to try a Monster green tea. I like green tea. I was also interested in trying a non-carbonated Monster. And there was also all that hype—people were real angry when the original Rehab Monster Green Tea was discontinued. Some folks even started petitions to bring it back. So it must be pretty good, right? Picture the shrug emoji. That’s this Monster. 

Pros: This Monster green tea includes electrolytes, B vitamins, coconut water, milk thistle (supposedly good for liver health), and quercetin (antioxidants). So you’re definitely getting more  from a Monster Rehab Green Tea than you would from an Arizona Iced Tea. There’s 160mg of caffeine per can, which is not a huge amount. Just enough to pep you up without making your hands shake. There’s also only 15 calories per can and just 3g of sugar. What about the flavor, though? Well, here’s a positive spin: If you wish that green tea actually tasted more like Diet Nestea, then, hey, here’s the green tea drink for you. 

Cons: It’s far, far, far too sweet for me, due to the artificial sweeteners. (There may only be 3g of sugar but I guarantee you there’s plenty of sucralose.) And it just doesn’t taste like green tea. It’s made with both green and black tea, and, what little flavor of actual tea there is, tastes like black tea. Mostly, though, it just tastes like Splenda dissolved into water.

If you have fond memories of Rehab Monster Green Tea, then you should definitely try this re-release and report back in the comments to let me know if this is just like the original or a sad facsimile. Otherwise, give it a miss.

Rating:

5.5/10

Sporks


About the Author

Justine Sterling

Justine Sterling is the editor-in-chief of Sporked. She has been writing about food and beverages for well over a decade and is an avid at-home cook and snacker. Don’t worry, she’s not a food snob. Sure, she loves a fresh-shucked oyster. But she also will leap at whatever new product Reese’s releases and loves a Tostitos Hint of Lime, even if there is no actual lime in the ingredients.

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  • I think there is a big difference between waking up to this drink, and having it after lunch time. People seem to like sweeter foods in the early am hours.

    I love this drink and buy it by the case. I find it has enough caffeine to wake me up but it is also hydrating. I drink alcohol and I really think the Rehab line is for people with a hangover. The taste is sweet but mild and adds to the refreshment, whereas a soda flavor would detract for me personally, in the morning. 10/10 from this liquor drinker.

    Reply
  • I saw it today in a local store @ 2 / $4.00. I bought one and another flavor. To me it wasn’t that sweet, just smooth. I liked the taste. I usually drink a Rehab drink after I’ve mowed the yard or a 2 mile walk. The Rehab drinks for me have been very refreshing. Now I don’t one every day, but do enjoy a non-carbonated solution that I will not get hooked on.
    Thanks, Monster, for this drink.

    Reply
  • I was so excited to find green tea Rehab back in stores yesterday, but my excitement quickly dissipated. The original had pineapple flavor and was delicious. This new version tastes like sweetened water with a few grass clippings stirred in. It’s awful. I’m so glad c I only bought one. Yuck!

    Reply
  • I tried it today because once again Monster took my Peach Tea out of all convenience stores. I don’t like fizzy drinks or sodas. The Green Tea is too sweet.

    Reply