Hi all, it’s me again, here to tell you all about yourself…in airplane food terms. We all have a go-to airplane snack whether it is the one we brought from home or the one we are handed by the flight attendant during the most dignified part of any flying experience, the highlight of your 18-hour day, the part where you get handed a single drink and a single food. And while everyone has their preferences and the snacks they think are the best for flights, this is not that list. This is what airplane food are you based on your zodiac, so make sure your seat belt is buckled and tightened low across your lap and let’s take off into the friendly skies (or whatever flight attendants say these days).
Aries (March 21-April 19): Stroopwafel
Here’s the thing. I cannot for the life of me remember which airline hands out these things, but I know for a fact I have been given a stroopwafel on a flight and it did, in fact, make my day. Similarly, there are few situations an Aries could not make better, and we love them for it. They are sweet (if a little out there at times), and we always like having them around.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): Warm Nuts
My grandma doesn’t usually fly first class, but the few times she has been randomly upgraded, the only thing I hear about for the next few days are the very excellent warm nuts they hand out in first class. They are soothing, salty, tasty, and good for you, all things that apply to Tauruses as well.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Honey Roasted Peanuts
I remember when Southwest used to give these out and, OOOOH boy, were they good. Much like Geminis, they have two distinct sides: an extreme lovely saltiness and a caramelly, deep sweetness that makes them the ideal snack, whether you’re in the mood for salty or sweet. Likewise, Geminis have both a salty and a sweet side to them. But that’s why we like them. Whether you are feeling sweet and nice or judgy and salty, they can and will match your energy.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Brownie Brittle
Nobody expects much from brownie brittle at first. They think, “What is a brownie if it isn’t gooey?!” And then the minute they try brownie brittle they immediately change their minds. This stuff is chocolatey, salty, sweet, and has a perfectly satisfying crunchy texture that not many other foods have. Similarly, Cancers may not seem super interesting at first, but after one conversation with them, you will be so intrigued you’ll want to hear their entire life story ASAP.
Leo (July 23-August 22): Lotus Biscoff Cookies
I mean, is there a more iconic airplane snack? I don’t think so. This one is so good it spans airlines, countries, and decades of travel. This is the main character airline snack and that’s why it has to be Leos.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Sandwich From Home
Virgos are on top of it. They thought ahead. And they certainly don’t think a single stroopwafel constitutes a whole meal. That’s why Virgos are definitely a sandwich brought from home for the flight. With fresh ingredients from this morning or last night, the Virgo airplane sandwich special is unmatched. Virgos just think of everything. Period.
Libra (September 23-October 22): Southwest Airlines Snack Mix
First of all, Southwest did not need to pop off this hard with their in-flight snack mix, but if you have been on a Southwest flight recently, you know this stuff absolutely slaps. It has all sorts of different little goodies from pretzels to bagel chips to faux Cheez-Its, and they all come coated in a deliciously savory, garlicky, oniony coating. Libras love a good balanced and harmonious experience and, let me tell you, this snack mix is the epitome of a balanced, tasty, savory snack.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Lorna Doone
I will never fully understand Lorna Doone. It is supposed to be shortbread, I think, but it doesn’t really taste like shortbread and it’s named after a character from a Victorian romance novel for some reason. Don’t get me wrong, these are good cookies, but the mystery of it all means that these things have to be Scorpios—the most mysterious of the signs.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Tomato Juice
Sagittariuses are curious knowledge seekers and, as such, when the flight attendants say to look in the seat pocket for the drink menu, they actually do. That means they would know that many airlines actually will give you tomato juice if you ask for it, and that, my friends, is basically just a free cup of cold tomato soup. Leave it to a Sagittarius to find the deals no one else is curious enough to find.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): Granola Bar
Capricorns are patient. Patient enough to wait for real food from the airport and have this granola bar from home on the flight just to tide them over. They are sensible flyers, these ones.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): Caramel and Cheddar Cheese Popcorn from That One Place in the Chicago Airports
If you have ever flown through a Chicago airport then you know what I’m talking about. Whether it is Garrett’s or Nuts on Clark or some other shop, you can bet any Chicago airport will have this classic, chaotic combo of cheese popcorn and caramel corn that just feels very out-of-the-box and Aquarian. That’s not to say that it isn’t good though. It is, in fact, excellent and you should definitely try it the next time you visit the Windy City.
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Mom’s Cookies
Pisces are the most whimsical, nostalgic, and sentimental of the signs, so you can bet that their airport snack is the cookies your mom just gave you as you were leaving the house. If you have ever received this kind of cookie, you can probably relate to the fact that sometimes they make it all the way home and sometimes they mysteriously disappear mid-flight. But no matter when you eat them the cookies are made with love and so are Pisces people, so that is why our lovey-dovey Pisces have to be Mom Cookies.