Twizzlers Straws Are Making Dirty Soda Drinkable…and Edible

Want to sip your dirty soda through a dirty straw? Hm. You know, maybe I shouldn’t phrase it like that. Are you thirsty for something extra dirty? Nope. That’s worse. And now I can’t stop reading my own sentences in an erotic voice. Let’s back up.   

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Twizzlers Straws are coming out in a new “dirty soda” flavor, inspired by the Mormon drink that’s slowly but surely made its way to the mainstream. 

This new Twizzlers flavor blends lime, coconut, and vanilla to mimic the most classic and original recipe for dirty soda: Diet Coke, half-and-half, coconut syrup, and lime juice. Our sources don’t indicate whether any cola flavor will be present in the Twizzler (it seems not?), but if you intend to use it as an edible straw, it should, in theory, complement your soda nicely. 

These new Twizzlers are limited-edition and a little tricky to find. Here’s how to get it: 

The official launch date is March 12. You can find them nationwide on the Hershey’s website beginning at 12 p.m. EST / 9 a.m. PST. GoPuff will also have a drop on March 12, and then a second drop on March 22, in major cities like Boston, New York and Philadelphia. This flavor retails for $4.49 and will only be available while supplies last! 

What is dirty soda, again? 

My friend, we’ve got a whole article about it if you’re really curious, but here’s the TLDR: It’s a non-alcoholic drink that combines dairy, soda, and juice or citrus. It’s grown really popular in Mormon social circles over the years, particularly those with stricter rules prohibiting alcohol and coffee consumption. The dirty soda chain Swig, which you can find in mountain states and the southern midwest, has also really contributed to the rise of this bevvy—and, you know, four seasons of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives definitely played a part, too. That’s the power of sensationalist reality TV. One second, you’re learning the definition of “soft-swingers,” and the next, you’re drinking Diet Coke out of a new Twizzlers Straw. It’s the butterfly effect. 

I thought we would leave this trend in 2025, but apparently not. I don’t mean that to sound disparaging. I just really thought it would, no pun intended, fizzle out by now. But I’ve shared enough of my thoughts. How do you feel about this trend? Are you going to buy this new Twizzlers Straw? Do you also engage in “heavy petting” with your married friends’ husbands and wives? Share your thoughts below!