Best Green Foods for St. Paddy's Day

I’m absolutely positive St. Patrick’s Day has a significant cultural meaning in Ireland, but growing up in the U.S., it was always reduced to “wear green or be shunned (or pinched).” Now, if you don’t have anything green to wear and would still like to venture out into the world this March 17, we have a fun hack for you: Just eat green foods for St. Paddy’s Day instead. Heck, have a St. Patrick’s Day party where all the food and décor is green, and then maybe no one will notice your red shirt and blue jeans because they are all too busy admiring the amazing green party you are hosting (no, not that Green Party). Anyway, you’re in luck (of the Irish; sorry, I had to), because we are here to help. Here are our top nine green foods for St. Paddy’s Day, whether you are throwing a party or not.

Dreyer’s / Edy’s Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

Is there anything more classic than a mint ice cream that is bright green? Nope, I don’t think there is. Plus you could totally throw this ice cream in a blender and make at-home Shamrock Shakes for your St. Paddy’s Day-loving guests. In their ranking of the best mint chip ice creams, Sporked senior writer Jordan Myrick raved that this ice cream is “pleasantly minty and has tons of chocolate chips. Plus, it’s bright green!” All true and awesome things. Plus, they mentioned that it tasted like some of the higher-priced mint ice creams Sporked tried, but was significantly less expensive. Win-win!

Mezzetta Garlic Stuffed Green Olives

I’m an olive gal. These li’l pickled stone fruits are like crack to me. So, if St. Patrick’s Day is an excuse for me to go around eating green olives all day, then I’ll take it! And these aren’t just any green olives—no, no. these are “pickled, pungent, firm, salty, oily, and briny,” and also have “big-time garlic flavor,” according to Sporked contributor Danny Palumbo. These oily, delicious, and meaty olives are a great way to spice up your charcuterie board with green foods for St. Patrick’s Day—or just to spice up your mouth with some damn good olives.

Brad’s Crunchy Kale Original

Now, I know what you are thinking and it goes something like, “Ew. Kale.” And while, yes, that is true when it comes to raw kale, when it comes to these kale chips? Hoooo boi, do I change my tune. These. things. are. fire. Not to mention green! Jordan described the taste as “complex, but a little reminiscent of tomato soup. The entire room of tasters was shocked by the amount of flavor a kale chip could hold.” This is not an exaggeration. I would call these a certified flavorsplosion. Plus, they come in satisfying little nuggets and taste absolutely nothing like kale. Brad really came through with these. They are a great green food for St. Paddy’s Day seeing as how they are made of literal greens.

365 Organic Green Tea

When you forget to wear green and you come home from a long day of being pinched and shunned, the last thing you want is more stress. So why not take a load off with a soothing mug of green tea? You can be in the St. Patrick’s Day spirit while also recovering from St. Patrick’s Day. Plus, this tea is actually so good. Sporked managing editor Gwynedd Stuart called it “simple and reliable,” and said it “has an excellent, complex green tea flavor without being bitter.” Mmmmm, comfort in a mug. Plus, you know, green.

Broccoli

Your friends will be ~jealous~.

Kirkland Basil Pesto

What is greener than pesto? Nothing, that’s what. Make yourself some bangin’ pesto pasta and enjoy the heck out of it. And while I am suggesting this as a green food for St. Paddy’s Day, I am also suggesting this as a green food for literally any day ever. If you’ve never tried the Kirkland pesto, where have you been?! This stuff has such a “pure nutty, cheesy, oily, and herby flavor,” according to Danny, plus, it’s made with D.O.P (Protected Designation of Origin) Genovese basil and Pecorino Romano. This stuff is so delicious and fancy for the price. Whether you’re a pesto lover or a leprechaun who adores garlic, you simply have to try it at least once in your life. And it’s green!

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

Don’t ask.

Green Giant Simply Steam Creamed Spinach Sauced

I know, I know. “Creamed Spinach?! What is this, the 1950s?” I assure you it is not the 1950s (thank god, although I did like the era’s dress silhouette). Creamed spinach is good, y’all. And this creamed spinach? Ugh, (green) chef’s kiss. It tastes like wilted spinach in the world’s butteriest alfredo sauce. Or, as Justine put it, “It’s creamy, it’s savory, and there’s actual spinach in there—real leaves with real bite to them. It even has that touch of bitter astringency that spinach has, which helps balance out the richness.” In other words, this stuff is dank. It’s dank and it’s green, but don’t let that fool you—this stuff is legal in all 50 states, and you should absolutely buy some to add to your “green foods for St. Paddy’s Day” shopping list.

Casa Sanchez Medium Roasted Salsa Verde

Lastly, but certainly not leastly, we’re recommending Casa Sanchez Salsa Verde. Y’all, this one is so green it has green in its name! This is truly one of the best store bought salsas you can buy. Jordan noted that “big pieces of garlic, springs of cilantro, and whole pepper seeds make it seem homemade,” and praised it for being “bright, garlicky, and tart.” It goes well with chips, burritos, or a spoon, and is quite possibly the ideal salsa verde—and you can get this stuff at Walmart! Plus, and I can’t stress this enough, it’s green!