Back in October of 2021 (jeez, that was six months ago already), Beyond Meat went above and beyond by giving us a new meat alternative: Beyond Chicken Tenders. Well, they gave it to some of us, namely people who shop at select Walmart, Harris Teeter, Giant Foods, and Shoprite stores around the U.S. Others have had to patiently wait to get their fingies on these delicious-lookin’ plant-based tendies, but I’m happy to announce that the wait is finally coming to an end. Beyond Meat Chicken Tenders, as of literally right now, are becoming available at Albertsons, CVS, Sprouts, Whole Foods Market, and Kroger-owned grocery stores (yes, that means Ralphs) all around the country.
I am beyond excited to try these, but probably not for the reason you think. I actually don’t like Beyond Meat. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against plant-based beef. I loves me some Impossible Meat and Trader Joe’s Beefless Beef, but Beyond Beef has a strange chemically quality that I just can’t get around. Now, this could be my (potentially unreasonable) expectation that non-meat will taste like meat meat, but I think it’s more my very logical and reasonable expectation that food should taste like food (as opposed to plastic). I should say, however, that my vegan and vegetarian friends don’t taste this plasticky undertone and tell me I’m crazy, so if you’re in that boat and can enjoy the stuff, I’m not about to yuck your yum.
“But Jessica,” you say, “I thought you were excited about these tenders! Why are you so excited if you just said you don’t like Beyond Meat?!”
Well, my friend, it’s because people say these “chicken” tenders are fire. And not just any people, but people who weren’t told they were eating plant-based chicken and loved them anyway. That gets me excited. If even plant-based meat naysayers can get on board with these chickenless chicken tenders, then maybe I can too!
In addition, people who tried Beyond Meat’s less successful, less delicious, and since discontinued plant-based chicken offering released back in 2012 very much disliked it. Those same people have noted that these new Beyond Chicken Tenders blow the brand’s old Beyond Chicken Strips out of the water.
This is enough evidence for me. And so (because I feel it is my duty) I shall find these tenders in the freezer aisle, I shall acquire them, and I shall give them the ol’ post-college try to see how good they are on a scale of onedie to tendie.