Coffee-mate Will Pay You $5K to Skip the 5K This Thanksgiving

Looking for an excuse to forgo the annual family jog this Thanksgiving? Coffee-mate is offering $5,000 to a lucky lazy person who literally sits it out.


It’s Thanksgiving morning. You’re groggy and wiping the sleep from your eyes, excited to be stuffing your face with stuffing until you remember….the dreaded Turkey Trot. “You won’t take me alive,” you declare as your mom swings open the door to your room. She is set on the icy cold exercise. But what if we told your mom that Coffee-mate is willing to pay $5K to those who choose morning coffee over leg day? Let’s drink and talk.

Thanksgiving mornings are about two things: togetherness and coffee (and the parade and recovering from the night before when you hit the bar with your high school friends like you were real adults, oh wait, you are). If you don’t believe us, just ask Coffee-mate. This year, Coffee-mate is putting their money where their coffee is and offering a chance to win five grand to anyone who pledges not to run a Thanksgiving 5k. Beginning November 14th, 2022, Coffee-mate will start accepting no-run pledges in the hopes that families will instead use that precious morning time to bond over a cup of coffee. Put your morning coffee routine first and give your legs the day off.

What is the Turkey Trot, anyway, and why are people doing it? The first Turkey Trot began as early as 1896 in Buffalo, New York with less than ten entrants. These foot races now happen across the country as part of the yearly Thanksgiving tradition. Some choose to run the Turkey Trot as a way to kickstart what will become a day riddled with food coma vibes, while others see it as a fun way to bond with members of your family and community. Coffee-mate, on the other hand, thinks of the Turkey Trot as an act of aggression against your cup of Joe and believes everyone can and should make better use of their morning sitting in peace and quiet, sweat-free. We’d like to thank Coffee-mate for providing us with a superb reason to stay home with our families this Thanksgiving, rather than rushing out into the cold fall morning.


About the Author

Naajia Shukri

Naajia Shukri is the editorial assistant at Sporked and the legit biggest fan of candy corn. She is interested in all things food, art, and beauty. After living in Korea for the past two years, she has gotten back to her L.A. roots, frequenting thrift stores and art museums.

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  • Thanks, Coffee-mate, on behalf of all the deserving non-profit organizations that count on funds raised by Thanksgiving weekend running events across the country who may lose much needed financial support due to your brainless promotion. Perhaps you’ll take a hint next year and follow the lead of some other coffee-related companies like Dunkin’, Starbucks, and other local coffee shops and retailers who generously support these events with their sponsorships and advertising. And Sporked — you should know better.

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