I don’t have kids (whoops!), but that hasn’t prevented me from being aware of the existence of the Elf on the Shelf, a sprawling network of small beings who conspire to make parents’ lives annoying during the holidays. Now the elf wants to occupy your grocery cart too, mom.
In October, the Elf on the Shelf North Pole Snow Creme Cereal hit Walmart stores with a bold promise on its box: It supposedly cools your mouth as you eat via a “slow-release flavor ingredient,” according to a press release. The aim is to capture the sensation of eating a snowball that happens to be made out of vanilla ice cream. It joins a line of Elf of the Shelf products including Hot Cocoa Cereal, Sugar Cookie Cereal, Pop-Tarts Bites, Nutri-Grain Bites, and something simply called Jumbo Snax. But we were mostly curious about this mouth-cooling cereal. So, we snagged a box to find out if it’s magic in a box or just another of the elf’s tricks.
So, here’s the thing about cereal: When you eat it in a bowl with milk you just took out of the refrigerator, it cools your mouth by virtue of … being cold. (And if you put ice cubes in your cereal like editor-in-chief Justine Sterling, it cools your mouth even more.) If this cereal has a cooling agent, I’m not sure who’d be able to tell! The other selling point is that it contains mini marshmallows (everyone loves mini marshmallows), but I really struggled to find any in the box.
But, Gwynedd, does it taste good? Sure. Yes. It has a strong vanilla flavor that reminded me of cake batter or frosting. It’s a sugary, desserty cereal that’s plenty o’ fun—as long as you don’t have your heart set on marshmallows or magic.
Howdy! I’m Gwynedd, Sporked’s managing editor. I live in Los Angeles and have access to the best tacos the U.S. has to offer—but I’m a sucker for a crunchy Old El Paso taco night every now and then. I’ve been at Sporked since 2022 and I’m still searching frozen mozzarella sticks that can hold a candle to restaurant sticks.
Why you should trust me: I’ve been a journalist for 20 years (yikes), a consumer of food for 40-plus years, and I’m truly hard pressed to think of foods I don’t like (or that I can’t tolerate at the very least). Oh and one time I cooked my way through Guy Fieri’s cookbook and wrote about the journey through Flavortown.
What I buy every week: Trader Joe’s Original Savory Thins. Fat free plain yogurt (usually Fage or Nancy’s). Honeycrisp apples. Sweet cream coffee creamer for my at-home Americanos. A frozen cauliflower crust pizza and some jarred mushrooms to top it with. Old El Paso Stand ‘N Stuff taco shells and Gardein Ground Be’f, even though I think “be’f” is a nightmarish contraction.
Favorite ranking: Stouffer’s frozen dinners. I don’t own a microwave (I get my cancers the old fashioned way!), so I love taste testing things that I don’t really buy to eat at home.
Least favorite ranking: Soy sauce. Don’t get me wrong, I love soy sauce—but consuming that much sodium in one sitting is probably illegal in some countries. Our frozen enchilada taste test was a close second; the smell of microwaved corn tortillas still haunts me.
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Gwynedd Stuart
Tyler Bowers
Danny Palumbo
Vinz Karl
