Every Flavor of Bitchin’ Sauce, Ranked

The best Bitchin’ Sauce is hard to determine because all the flavors of this plant-based sauce are, in fact, bitchin’. Luckily, we are professional food taste testers and did the work for you.

If you’re not familiar with Bitchin’ Sauce, this nut-based, vegan dip was created by a husband and wife duo in San Diego, California. There are tons of flavors and it is wildly popular with vegans and non-vegans alike. We tried every single flavor of Bitchin’ Sauce and ranked them from our least favorite to most favorite. To be honest, it was incredibly hard. All of these vegan, nut-based dips are really good! That being said, this list is correct and you can trust me because I’m a huge bitch.

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THAT’S BITCHIN’

Apple Pie

We could not get into this. It was a little too sweet and sort of one note. It certainly wasn’t bad, but we wouldn’t buy it.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

5/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Sweet Caramel

Another sweet version of Bitchin’ Sauce that is just a little too sweet for us. This would be good with apples, but it just feels less interesting and versatile than the other Bitchin’ Sauces, so it sits at the bottom of this list.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

5.5/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Heat

I was not a fan of the Heat Bitchin’ Sauce. It didn’t really taste like much except heat. Because all the other flavors are so complex, this one stood out as boring.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

5.5/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Eggplant & Olive

Eggplant & Olive is one of the milder Bitchin’ Sauce flavors. We didn’t hate it, but we didn’t love it. When it comes to picking up a flavor at the store, I don’t think we’ll be reaching for this again because it is simply forgettable.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

6/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Caramelized Onion

This is a savory Bitchin’ Sauce that leans on the sweet side. I wish it was more onion-y, but it’s still pretty good. You get more caramelized than onion, if you get what I’m saying. Like, if you sucked on the outside of a caramelized onion without actually eating the onion. That being said, there are definitely worse things than sucking on an onion.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

6.5/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Spinach & Artichoke

The Sporked office was torn on this one. Some people thought it tasted too much like canned artichokes. Personally, I like that super briney canned artichoke taste. It’s what I expect from spinach and artichoke dip. I loved that this wasn’t too spinach-forward.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

6.5/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Green Onion

I like green onion Bitchin’ Sauce! I feel like this would be tasty smeared onto toast and topped with smoked salmon. It’s refreshing and creamy. Like its caramelized onion cousin, it is a little sweeter than most of the other savory sauces. I don’t mind that. I think it tastes good.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

7/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Chipotle

We were eating Chipotle Bitchin’ Sauce in our office for months thinking this was the original and only flavor of Bitchin’ Sauce. We’re glad we realized we were wrong, but we honestly could eat chipotle Bitchin’ Sauce forever and be happy. It’s so creamy and has a real kick. If you’re looking for a dip that’s actually spicy, buy this!

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

8.5/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Original

The Original Bitchin’ Sauce is “lemon and garlic flavor.” What I love about it, though, is that you don’t really get one single flavor. Everything comes together to harmonize in my mouth like a beautiful, savory song. If you’re not a fan of spice, this is a great option for you.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

9/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Chocolate

If you are picking up a sweet Bitchin’ Sauce, get the chocolate one! It is phenomenal. It tastes like straight-up brownie batter (without the salmonella warnings from your mom). This would be awesome with pretzels or apple slices or salty, kettle-cooked potato chips. I would smear this on toast and top it with banana slices for a healthy and easy breakfast. This is a great and versatile buy.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

9/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Cilantro Chili

I love the Cilantro Chili Bitchin’ Sauce. This would be so good on a wrap or used as a salad dressing. It’s a little spicy, super herby, and very creamy. It really has everything you could want in a dip.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

9.5/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Pesto

Obviously, this is a phenomenal dip, but imagine using this as the dressing for an Italian-style pasta salad with cherry tomatoes, diced red onion, and tiny mozzarella balls. You would be the star of any work potluck or family BBQ.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

9.5/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Bombay

Bombay is so savory and salty. The curry powder taste is gentle but definitely present. It’s not spicy, but it is well-spiced. I would love to pour this over a rotisserie chicken leg and go to town. If you’ve ever had Chicken Kitchen, this tastes a little like their mustard curry sauce, which is iconic and addictive. Go buy this!

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

9.5/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Buffalo

I don’t know why, but I thought this wouldn’t taste that good. I was like, “Nuts and buffalo? Nah.” I was so so wrong. It’s incredible. It’s one of the best buffalo products I’ve ever had in my life. Use this as a dip or buffalo sauce on wings or as the spread on a buffalo chicken wrap. There’s a great heat, good tang, and wonderful overall flavor. I love it!

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

10/10

Sporks

THAT’S BITCHIN’

Roasted Green Chile & Pepita

I will be buying this every single time I go to the grocery store from now until the end of forever. The Roasted Green Chile & Pepita Bitchin’ Sauce is one of the most delicious things I’ve tasted in a long time. The flavor of the roasted chilies and the pumpkin seeds goes great with the nut base of the Bitchin’ Sauce. You could eat this with literally anything and everything. I even thought about pouring this over a burrito. You will not regret purchasing this. I promise.

Credit: Merc / Bitchin’ Sauce

Rating:

10/10

Sporks

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About the Author

Jordan Myrick

Jordan is an L.A.-based writer and comedian who believes all food should come with extra sauce. When they're not writing for Sporked, Jordan is at the movies or sharing an order of french fries with their elderly chihuahua.

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  • I bought the roasted green chili & pepita by mistake one day, thinking I had grabbed the chipotle. I was wondering why it tasted better than usual before realizing what I had done. It really is SO good. Definitely my favorite flavor (besides the limited time ghost pepper one they had a few years back for Halloween. That one was amazing.)

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