Grocery Shopping Hacks for Anxious Shoppers (Seriously, I’ve Been There)

If you walk into a grocery store and enter a flow state, then you, my friend, are not my target audience for this article. But if you dread and put off grocery shopping because your nervous system can’t tell the difference between choosing the right fruit from being chased by a bear, welcome. You’re in good company.

Since joining Sporked, I’ve done more grocery shopping than I ever imagined possible. Plenty of my grocery runs for work have been on a time crunch, in stores I’m not familiar with. If you’re thinking, “Hey, that’s my literal nightmare,” I totally understand. Exposure therapy has made grocery shopping an easy task for me now, but that took time (and many instances of trial and error).

Here are the biggest tips I’ve learned along the way:

Don’t go inside the store. Yes, you read that correctly. Stop grocery shopping in person.

This is my biggest life hack since 2020, when we all died and entered an alternate universe. In this alternate universe, most major grocery store chains instituted an online ordering system with a free pick-up option to help with social distancing. And most of them decided to keep that service around permanently. Let me break down the process:

You order your groceries online.
You drive to the store and park in one of their designated pick-up spots. (There is always one open.)
You alert them that you have arrived via phone. (This can be an automated call, an app, a text—different chains have different methods, but they are not complicated, I promise.)
Someone brings out all of your groceries and helps you pack them in your car.
And the service is completely free. For many chains, you don’t pay extra for pick-up, just delivery.

This has completely changed the way I shop. I personally use Ralphs pick-up. They remember the items you order, so it’s really simple to just re-add them to your new cart. It’s like having a built-in grocery list. I can order all of my groceries in under ten minutes. And I can easily see how much I’m spending as I order, instead of mentally doing math in the middle of a grocery store aisle.

The only downside to this is not being able to pick your own produce. But that’s already a nightmare for my anxiety, so I don’t particularly care. I’ve never had a problem with getting an immediate refund from any items, produce or otherwise, that didn’t meet my expectations. It’s truly a beautiful service and I hope it sticks around forever.

If you do shop in-store, go at times when less people are around. (Or go straight from the gym, when your endorphins are pumping.)

These are the least crowded times to shop, according to these statistics and other consumer reports.

Early weekday mornings: 7-9 a.m.
Weekdays after 7 p.m. (but the later, the better)
Any time during a major sporting event or awards show

My other tip, from personal experience: Shop right after you’ve worked out, when all the happy endorphins are pumping through your veins. It turns this tedious and anxiety-inducing task into something oddly fun. But don’t forget to bring something warm. That sweat will dry before you know it and you’ll be freezing your ass off and cursing my name for suggesting this in the first place.

In fact, unless you’re prone to anxious sweating in general, always wear something warm to the grocery store. There is nothing worse than being anxious and cold.

Use the grocery store’s app and website to look up what aisle things are in.

Most major grocery stores have a feature on their app (and sometimes, their website) that lets you look up the aisle number of your grocery item. You typically put in your exact store location, too, for accurate results.

And guys, if you get lost: Bother an employee on the floor.

I understand the social anxiety of it all, but I can’t tell you how helpful it is to have someone just take you right to the item you’re looking for instead of wandering around for another 15minutes, stewing in self-doubt!

Stay informed about how to pick the best fruits and veggies.

A big point of anxiety for me is choosing produce for the week that I will actually eat before it all goes rotten. At some point, I’m going to write a more in-depth piece about what produce tastes good frozen and canned, and what you always want to buy fresh.

For now, here’s some quick tips that I’ve used over the years when it comes to the produce section. Some of this is common sense, but man, I still wish I knew it when I was in college!

Buy that plastic pre-washed tub of spinach and just throw some onto basically anything you cook. Eggs, pasta, stir fried veggies. If you’re worried about food poisoning from bagged lettuce, know this is a non-issue when you cook your spinach. And if it’s reaching its expiration date, throw whatever’s left in a pan with some butter and garlic and watch it cook down to barely a side dish. Eat it in five seconds. No food wasted!
Only buy berries if you plan to eat them in 24 to 48 hours. They will not last.
Whole carrots and whole onions last forever. Seriously. They can stay good for a month in your fridge. (And they’re so cheap, there’s no reason not to buy them!)
If you want lettuce that lasts, iceberg lettuce is the way to go. The whole head, people. Not the bagged stuff.

Remember: You’re allowed to grocery shop badly.

Are you getting self conscious that you’ve been at the store for almost an hour and you’re still not done shopping? Do you feel like you’re run into the same employee three times and he’s judging you? Just remember: No one cares about you. You’re allowed to grocery shop badly.