A few years ago, I decided to take a little tour of the Takis website to scope out the options. I realized I had only ever seen Fuego Takis, but the “fuego” on the label implied the existence of other flavors of Takis, right? Turns out, I was correct. On the website, I saw a whole bunch of flavors like Crunchy Fajitas and Blue Heat. But nothing really grabbed my attention, until I spotted Guacamole Takis. That’s right, the company had dared to combine the best chip with the best dip. Way to dream big, Takis! I had to have it.
But how? And where? I knew I could just buy some on Amazon, but I prefer to buy my Takis in a store to ensure maximum freshness. So I searched every grocery store I went to to—Safeways, Vons, Ralphs, Albertsons, Save Mart, Nuggets (it’s a NorCal thing), Costco, CVS, and Target, but to no avail. Not ONE of these fine establishments had my white whale in stock. Turns out this is not an uncommon issue. One review on Amazon says: “Delicious snack, I can never find in stores 😩” And boy, can I relate!
Then, last week, I was at Walmart shopping with my mother. I never go to Walmart, mostly since I don’t live near one. But I happened to go, and lo and behold, right there in the chip aisle I spotted a splash of green in the sea of purple. I gasped and said to my mom, “I have to get these, I’ve been looking for them for years.” She said, “Hope they don’t burn a hole in your esophagus.” I said, “At this point, they can do whatever they want.” And with that, we departed the store triumphant (after paying, don’t worry).
Now for the taste. I had a feeling I’d like them, but these Takis exceeded my expectations by leaps and bounds and football fields. These things are dank. They taste like the powder on a Ranch Flavor Blasted Goldfish mixed with raw jalapeño mixed with a hint of lime. Basically, they taste a bit like an oniony, garlicky, spicy guac. Compared to a classic Fuego Taki, they are much less spicy up front, but the spice builds up and lingers on the palate way longer. It’s almost more of a “fresh hot pepper” spice than a “spicy chip” spice, giving it the illusion of the presence of raw jalapeños.
If you’re a Takis fan, a guac fan, or both, you need to try these. And after poking around online I found that these glorious, verdant flavor bombs can be found at Walmart, Albertsons, and CVS (I must’ve just been unlucky with my previous attempts). If you find them, tell them I said hi, give ‘em a try, and let me know what you think. I think these may be some of the best chips I’ve ever had.
