If Zodiac Signs Were Pop-Tart Flavors

Today we can finally answer one of life’s greatest mysteries: Which Pop-Tart am I? Find out which Pop-Tart best fits you and your personality, according to your astrological sign. Is your go-to Pop-Tart flavor reflective of your zodiac sign—or do the stars say you should be eating a fruitier flavor? 


Aquarius: Frosted Blueberry

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Walking your own path. This is a headstrong Pop-Tart who not only knows its lane, but defines it. As an Aquarius, you aren’t simply a Blueberry Pop-Tart. You’re a Frosted Blueberry Pop-Tart. And you better believe there’s a difference. A Frosted Blueberry Pop-Tart knows how to have fun—but in a practical way. It’s a safe but still fun choice that stands out and retains its individualism. 

Pisces: Frosted Strawberry Milkshake

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Already on your third crying sesh for the day. The sprinkles on this Pop-Tart represent how fun and carefree a Pisces can be. The soft, pink filling appeals to Pisces’ sensitive, sweet side. And the baby pink frosting represents the rising color in your face as you lowkey hope nobody’s secretly mad at you. 

Taurus: Brown Sugar Cinnamon

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Ol’ reliable. This is the Pop-Tart you go to when you have no time for games and just need comfort. Good ol’ Brown Sugar Cinnamon has never steered anybody wrong. Tried and true, this Pop-Tart is top tier and dependable, just like you, Taurus. 

Aries: Frosted Wild Berry

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Straight up wild. This is one of the most chaotic Pop-Tarts just based on color scheme alone. Which berry color should we use? ALL OF THEM. It has the energy of at least three Pop-Tarts in one, which is exactly what you get in an Aries.

Credit: Ryan Martin / Amazon

Seems like you’re doing a lot on the surface, but really you’re chillin’. At first glance, this Pop-Tart seems like a lot. However, when you sit down and think about it, is chocolate chip cookie dough really all that wild? Frosting, chocolate chips, and cookie dough—that’s not so crazy. This is secretly one of the most down-to-Earth Pop-Tarts out there—perfect for a sign that might appear unhinged but actually is a pretty straight shooter.

Cancer: Frosted Strawberry

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Everybody likes you, and you’re just happy to be here. Just like the zodiac crab, Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts are here to be the life of the party. This is an any time, any place, go-with-the-flow type of pastry. Just like a Cancer, this Pop-Tart is cruising through life, having fun, and making the best of it.

Leo: Frosted Hot Fudge Sundae

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Here to be extra and do the MOST. These Pop-Tarts are so rich and so in your face that you need to take a break when you attempt to eat one. And does the Pop-Tart care?? Much like a Leo, it absolutely does not.  This Pop-Tart is literally as extra as putting frosting on a hot fudge sundae and loving it. A box of these will last you a lifetime. 

Virgo: Frosted Red Velvet

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You’re chill…until you’re not. People snap—especially when someone feels the need to point out that red velvet is “just” dyed chocolate. This Pop-Tart is the first to get up and yell, “WHAT ABOUT THE CREAM CHEESE?!” This Pop-Tart stands for what it believes in, as a Virgo does, and it will be there to remind everybody about the cream cheese for as long as you both may live. 

Libra: Unfrosted Strawberry

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The mom friend. This Pop-Tart is looking out for all of its friends, making sure everybody is staying nice and hydrated on a hike (the one they most certainly planned). If you’re going through a tough time, which you might be if you’re choosing unfrosted Pop-Tarts, this Pop-Tart is there to support you. It has the strawberry filling that we all know and love, but it’s not here to sugarcoat things. The Unfrosted Strawberry Pop-Tart is here to be our pastry to cry on while also making us aware of all the things we’re doing wrong (like choosing an unfrosted Pop-Tart).

Scorpio: Frosted Chocolate Fudge

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Dark and mysterious. Frosted Chocolate Fudge is one of the more intense Pop-Tart flavors. And you’re all about intensity, Scorpio. This triple chocolate Pop-Tart captures your all-or-nothing personality and your inability to be anyone but yourself. It says, if you’re going to be chocolate, BE CHOCOLATE.

Sagittarius: Frosted Cookies & Crème

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Social butterfly of the Pop-Tart world. Who doesn’t like cookies and cream?? It’s essentially the flavor of an Oreo, and I refuse to believe that there are people who don’t like Oreos even just a little bit. Just like a cookies and cream Pop-Tart, you know you’re great, Sag, and deep down everyone else knows it, too.

Capricorn: Frosted S’mores

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Fun to be around, but also silently taking mental notes of everything everyone’s just said. Capricorns will make a list, check it twice, and then burn it—hence the campfire-inspired s’mores Pop-Tart. The Frosted S’mores Pop-Tart will take secrets to the grave as a Capricorn does…as long as others remain loyal. Do not cheat on this Pop-Tart with other flavors, it will know and its justice will be swift.


About the Author

Naajia Shukri

Naajia Shukri is the editorial assistant at Sporked and the legit biggest fan of candy corn. She is interested in all things food, art, and beauty. After living in Korea for the past two years, she has gotten back to her L.A. roots, frequenting thrift stores and art museums.

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  • as a Taurus, i 100% agree with your Taurus pick

    Reply
  • I’m a scorpio and that is my fav flavor

    Reply
    • Team Scorpio! Woot~!

      Reply
  • As a Taurus the brown sugar cinnamon were my favorite childhood flavor, and we did not have pop-tarts often so it was always a treat. That flavor is super nostalgic for me.

    Reply
  • As a Capricorn, I was worried I would get some tired and boring flavor, but I’m extremely pleased

    Reply