An Out-of-Bounds Review of Guy Fieri’s Flavortown Spiked Boozy Bevs

If you like canned alcohol and selectively bleached facial hair, I have good news for you: Guy Fieri and Two Roads Brewing just released four flavors of Flavortown Spiked boozy bevs. Me? I happen to love alcohol, bleached facial hair (hell yeah, brother), and Guy Fieri, specifically. But I’ve also been instilled with a healthy skepticism of Guy’s mixological prowess. Remember when Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar opened in Times Square back in 2012 and Pete Wells wrote that snarky-ass review that went viral? I do. The New York Times critic saw fit to compare the restaurant’s signature cocktails to “nuclear waste,” “radiator fluid,” and “formaldehyde.” Way harsh, Pete! 

I’ll always give the democratically elected Mayor of Flavortown the benefit of the doubt, so I was excited to try all four varieties of Flavortown Spiked, which are as follows: Fidddy Fidddy (not a typo), Tangerine-N-Tea, Fruit Punch, and Tiki Town. Here’s what the Sporked crew and I thought of each. Don’t worry, Guy. We won’t go full Wells on you.

flavortown spiked fruit punch guy fieri fruit punch

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Flavortown Spiked Fruit Punch

This is Guy’s take on classic fruit punch. The red kind that stains your lips. This was the first of the Flavortown Spiked bevs to hit the market, which I find interesting because it’s just kind of whatever. 

Pros: Until I opened the can, I didn’t know whether this drink was carbonated or still. It’s carbonated, and I think that’s a good thing. It has a really light, delicate fizz that tingles as you drink. Also, this is made with real orange and cranberry juices, which is a nice touch. 

Cons: Flavor-wise, Flavortown Spiked Fruit Punch mostly just tastes like Hi-C fruit punch (delicious) that was watered down a bit (less delicious). Based on the branding and the man behind the brand, I was expecting a bolder flavor. Don’t get me wrong, it tastes fine—I described it as “totally inoffensive” in my notes—but when a drink comes in a can that looks like it owns a Gibson Flying V and does doughnuts in middle school parking lots, you sort of expect to be socked in the face with flavor. Hey, Guy works in mysterious ways!




flavortown spiked fidddy fidddy guy fieri arnold palmer

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Flavortown Spiked Fidddy Fidddy

Yep, that’s a lot of Ds. Three of them, in fact. Get it? Three Ds? Triple D? Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives? This take on an Arnold Palmer is for the real heads—and it also happens to be the best of the Flavortown Spiked drinks. 

Pros: I’ve tasted a lot of hard tea, and it’s sort of shocking how few of them actually taste like tea. Flavortown Fidddy Fidddy does. With its lemony tang, it reminds me a lot of Lipton Brisk tea, which I suppose they might be disappointed to hear given that it’s made with fancy Kenyan and Chilean tea leaves. Also, this drink is not carbonated, and I think that’s the right move for a boozy Arnold Palmer.

Cons: None, really. If you like a hard iced tea-hard lemonade blend, grab one of Ds.




flavortown spiked tangerine N tea guy fieri

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Flavortown Spiked Tangerine-N-Tea

This is sort of like the Fidddy Fidddy, except that it’s made with tea and tangerine juice instead of lemonade. 

Pros: If you want a very mild, citrus-tinged, tea-flavored bev, this is totally serviceable, but I think there’s a reason iced tea and tangerine juice hasn’t risen the iconic beverage ranks alongside iced tea and lemonade. I will say that Tangerine-N-Tea tastes boozier than the other Flavortown Spiked drinks, which is a pro for me but might be a con for other, normal people. 

Cons: Tangerine juice just doesn’t have enough tang to serve a complement to the warm, round, earthy flavor of the tea. All in all, it just falls flat.




guy fieri flavortown spiked tiki town

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Flavortown Spiked Tiki Town

This is a tropical punch “inspired by Guy’s own tiki bar.” After taking a sip, I am genuinely concerned someone has mistaken the medicine cabinet for the bar. 

Pros: This has the same light fizz as the Spiked Fruit Punch, which is pleasant and refreshing. But in pretty much every other respect, this is the one Flavortown Spiked drink that really didn’t hit for me—and I really love a good tiki bar bev.

Cons: I couldn’t decide whether this tasted more like cologne smells or aftershave smells, but I suppose that’s splitting (facial) hairs. My colleague Justine Sterling likened it to airplane orange juice and while I suppose orange is the only discernible fruit flavor, I wonder if she isn’t conflating the taste of weak, watery OJ and the smell of the hand soap in an airplane lavatory. Anyway, nothing about this really says tiki. It’s just weird. Sorry, I did sort of go all Pete Wells on this one!




About the Author

Gwynedd Stuart

Gwynedd Stuart, Sporked’s managing editor, is an L.A.-based writer and editor who spends way, way too much time at the grocery store. She’s never met an Old El Paso taco or mozzarella stick she didn’t like.

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