The New Square Hot Pockets Are Worth Breaking For

Back in May, Hot Pockets revealed a new line of “Snack Breaks”–Hot Pockets with new crusts and fillings, bisected into squares perfect for sharing (as if anyone will be sharing a single Hot Pockets’ worth of food). While these have been public knowledge for months now, I only just found two at my local Meijer.

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I found the Cheesy Stuffed Pretzel with Bacon and Melty Nacho Beef variants, but there are three other flavors surely hiding from me personally: a Cheez-It-ish Ultimate Cheddar, the obligatory spicy entry in Spicy Jalapeño Popper, and even a patriotic dessert option sans mode, Gooey Apple Pie.

Hot Pockets® Snack Breaks Cheesy Stuffed Pretzel with Bacon Review

New Hot Pockets Snack!

Pros: Listen, I’ll never turn down a hot pastry full of cheese. I’m surprised ranch isn’t playing a part here considering bacon, cheese, and pretzels are no strangers to the Hidden Valley. (The white globs visible on the box are actually miscellaneous non-cheddar cheeses, not to be confused with the cream cheese in the aforementioned Spicy Jalapeño Popper variant.)

Cons: The pretzel crust is prone to becoming super stiff just a few minutes post-microwaving (despite microwaving specifically being called out as the option to ensure softer crust). Considering Hot Pockets’ long history as a food that needs to be cooked thoroughly and settled before eating to avoid fourth-degree roof-of-mouth burns, this specific rapid crust hardening did concern me.

Theoretically, there’s bacon somewhere in here. While I got a hint of bacon flavor, it wasn’t there in spades like it’s been in other bacon-based Hot Pockets. As a bacon-neutral individual, I’m not mad about that; the folks buying this for the bacon specifically certainly will though.

Credit: Griffin Parker / Hot Pockets

Rating:

7/10

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Hot Pockets® Snack Breaks Melty Nacho Beef Review

New Hot Pockets Snack!

Pros: Many moons ago, Beef Taco Hot Pockets graced our grocery store freezer aisles. I’m not sure why they ever left, considering this new nacho-fied version is one of the best Hot Pockets I’ve ever had. This thing is stuffed with nacho cheese, alongside solidly seasoned taco beef.

While most Hot Pockets’ crusts are plainly just a vehicle to hold the fillings, this “corn chip style crust” actually delivers the intended flavor and furthers the goal of feeling like a soft, warm plate of loaded nachos is settling all up in your face.

Cons: No notes, y’all. We have perfected the Hot Pockets concept.

Credit: Griffin Parker / Hot Pockets

Rating:

10/10

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