The 2004 movie Mean Girls is turning 20 next year, which means a couple of things: We are all hurtling toward death at breakneck speed and we are also about to be bombarded with Mean Girls-themed products designed to appeal to people who are flirting with 40. Nestlé is getting in on that aging millennial action with pink frosting-flavored Mean Girls Coffee-mate coffee creamer, which is set to hit stores in January 2024. Is Mean Girls coffee creamer “so fetch?” (Sorry, but you should get used to enduring inelegantly shoehorned-in Mean Girls references now.) Get in, loser. (Sigh.) We got our hands on a promo bottle to find out.
Mean Girls Coffee-mate coffee creamer is light pink and thick and meant to taste like pink frosting. Well, since “pink” is not a flavor, I’m not totally certain what pink frosting tastes like besides sugar and a few dabs of red food coloring, but this creamer definitely tastes like thick, vanilla-spiked strawberry milk when you taste it on its own. Coffee creamer is always pretty saccharine when you sip it solo, but something about this flavor profile is extra, extra sweet.
Pros: If you like sweet coffee, you may like this. Or you may not. I actually really like sweet coffee (Chobani Sweet Cream is muh shit and some of the best coffee creamer, period), but I don’t think the slap-you-in-the-face sweetness of artificial strawberry flavor necessarily meshes will with the flavor of coffee; it certainly didn’t mesh with the flavor of French roast brewed in our office Keurig. This makes me sound like I’m 400 years old when I’m actually squarely in this product’s target demo, but the taste and smell of pink frosting-flavored Coffee-mate reminded me of flavored pipe tobacco.
Cons: We already touched on some cons in the pros section (whoops), but another downside of this Mean Girls Coffee-mate creamer is that it’s just not pink enough to turn your coffee pink. I do not personally care to drink pink coffee, but if that’s why you’re buying this pink creamer, you might be disappointed. The only way to get that pink effect is to froth the creamer before you add it to your coffee, and I sort of doubt people who are approaching 40 are searching for extra steps to add to their morning routines.
Gwynedd Stuart, Sporked’s managing editor, is an L.A.-based writer and editor who spends way, way too much time at the grocery store. She’s never met an Old El Paso taco or mozzarella stick she didn’t like.
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