No Booze, No Problem: Rhett & Link Taste Test Non-Alcoholic Wine

In the spirit of dry January (but just for this episode), Rhett & Link quenched their non-alcoholic thirsts with their trusty Helmet Flavor Taster, a couple blindfolds, and a whole lotta non-alcoholic wine. After donning their wine-drinking PPE, the Mythical duo did their best to guess which type of non-alcoholic wine they were sipping before ranking all fine. The winner received a “big-ass wine glass” filled with their favorite beverage.

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Ariel Cabernet Sauvignon

Ariel Vineyards’ non-alcoholic Cabernet Sauvignon posed a real challenge for Rhett & Link. Rhett guessed it was a moscato because it was lacking in the tannin department. “I don’t taste the tannins, y’all,” he said. Link guessed it was a sauvignon blanc based on its dry leanings. “It’s less juicy, it’s less fruity, it’s definitely drier,” Link noted. Ultimately, the one thing the boys could agree on was that this cab sav was “weak bodied.” Weak tannins and weak bodied? Double oof.

Pierre Chavin Zero Sparkling Rosé

“WOW, that’s fruity,” Rhett said upon taking a sip of Pierre Chavin Zero Sparkling Rose. “It has no bite at all,” he added. This non-alcoholic wine also caught Link by surprise. “It tasted like apple juice to me,” Link said. When it came time to guess, the pair shouted “moscato” in unison because of the wine’s sweetness. Unfortunately, they were both wrong. After hearing a bit of hesitation in Stevie’s voice, the two changed their answers to prosecco and sauvignon blanc (Link’s go-to), respectively. Nope, still wrong. Pierre’s rosé is a great choice for anyone who likes their non-alcoholic wine on the sweeter side (yes, please).

Luminara Alcohol-Removed Chardonnay

This non-alcoholic wine struck an odd chord with Rhett & Link. “Oh this is weird,” Link said before detecting “notes of farm hay” and “goat trimmings.” He ultimately concluded that, while he didn’t like it, it’s not weak and “at least tastes kinda wine-y.” Rhett was initially taken aback by this NA chardonnay, but made up his mind about it fairly quickly. He guessed it was a pinot noir, but said, “It’s a chardonnay with a pinot-esque quality to it,” after learning its true form. Link’s guess was a firm but incorrect “cabernet.” Anyone looking for a nice non-alcoholic wine that’s on the fruity but drier side may want to give this one a once over.

Fre Alcohol-Removed Moscato

Rhett was very pleased with this non-alcoholic wine from Fre. “Wowee,” he swooned, “I quite like that one.” Link noted that this wine tastes floral, like roses, more specifically. Rhett & Link blurted their guess in unison: “moscato!” Fre created a non-alcoholic wine that is pleasantly distinct and fits the standard for moscato with none of the alcohol. Way to go, Fre!

Fre Alcohol-Removed Merlot

“This is very mild,” Link said after taking his first sip of Fre Alcohol-Removed Merlot. He seemed impressed with the little bit of body the wine had. Rhett was also pretty impressed after his first sip: “It’s got tannins, man.” During the ranking portion of the episode, he added, “This brand is doing something that the other ones are not doing.” Rhett guessed this wine was a moscato, while Link correctly guessed that it was a merlot. Points to you, Link! If you enjoy merlot, you will merlove this non-alcoholic version.

About the Author

Naajia Shukri

Naajia Shukri is the legit biggest fan of candy corn. She is interested in all things food, art, and beauty. After living in Korea for the past two years, she has gotten back to her L.A. roots, frequenting thrift stores and art museums.

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