Rhett & Link Taste Test Non-Alcoholic Alcohol

Outfitted in the Helmet Flavor Taster, Rhett & Link slurped through five of the best-selling non-alcoholic liquors in an attempt to find one that was so good they didn’t even miss the booze. They were also blindfolded and challenged with guessing what type of alcohol the N/A spirit was trying to emulate. After sipping it straight through the tube, R&L tasted each spirit-less spirit in a mocktail to further evaluate it. Here’s how it all shook out.

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Drink Monday Gin

“That tastes like you tapped into a pine tree that died,” Rhett said after tasting it straight. “A pine tree with a beetle infection.” Link didn’t like it either. “Is this toilet cleaner?” he asked. “This is absolutely horrible.” Both correctly identified it as fake gin. Trying it in a faux G&T didn’t help. “That’s the worst of all the things we’ve tasted and a gin and tonic is a thing that I order,” said Rhett. 

Ronsin Rum

“That tastes like Kool-Aid,” said Rhett. Link was less complimentary. “That tastes like bad medicine,” he said. He guessed that it was fake Dayquil while Rhett guessed bourbon. (Wrong, boys!) They tried it in a “Rum and Coke,” and neither liked it. “Ew, what’d you do to my Coke,” Link said.

Lyre’s Bourbon

“It has a vanilla edge to it. Like a flat cream soda,” Link said. He guessed…cream soda. Rhett correctly guessed whiskey. “It hits in the way that whiskey typically hits,” he said. The boys had lukewarm reactions to the mock old fashioned cocktail. Rhett said it tasted like one made by “a bartender who doesn’t know how to make one.” But he said he’d still drink it. 

Ritual Tequila

“Spicy!” Link exclaimed. “Literally spicy,” Rhett agreed. He guessed that it was vodka while Link thought it could be Fireball, due to the heat level. The mocktail margaritas were a relative hit (compared to some of the other drinks). “On its own it’s spicy water,” said Link. But both agreed it was much better in the marg. 

Arkay Vodka

“There’s a spiciness. There’s the sensation of ‘I’m drinking something that’s alcoholic,’” said Link. “The taste is very light. It’s fresh.” Both Rhett & Link correctly guessed it was fake vodka and both liked it in a mock Moscow mule. “This tastes almost identical to what you’d get [in a bar],” Rhett said. “I’m on team put-the-vodka-at-number-one.” 

About the Author

Justine Sterling

Justine Sterling is the editor-in-chief of Sporked. She has been writing about food and beverages for well over a decade and is an avid at-home cook and snacker. Don’t worry, she’s not a food snob. Sure, she loves a fresh-shucked oyster. But she also will leap at whatever new product Reese’s releases and loves a Tostitos Hint of Lime, even if there is no actual lime in the ingredients.

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