Picture this for me. You are hot, your muscles are burning, your palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti, and you are trying to catch your breath (or whatever people experience after going for a short jog or listening to Eminem). After a strenuous workout like that, all you really want is a nice, cool, EXTREMELY SOUR electrolyte drink, right? No one drinks water these days except old people and also everyone else (losers, am I right?). Nah, I’m just kidding. Of course you want water or perhaps some Gatorade if you have been sweating a whole lot. But here’s the good news: if you are one of those rare people who wants a sour sour splash of somethin’ right after they do some physical activity, Powerade is on the case with a lineup of sour Powerade flavors, reportedly coming soon.
Are there specific flavors or is it just sour Powerade? When is it coming out? Why on Taylor Swift’s green, flat earth did they not just call it Sour-ade?
It would seem that we will be getting not one, not two, but three flavors of this tangy take on the decidedly second-string thirst quencher that is Powerade. And let me be clear, I think Powerade tastes great, I just meant second-string as in, it ain’t Gatorade. But that’s not Powerade’s fault. I will say, however, that Gatorade doesn’t have a new line of sour flavors coming out in 2024 as far as we know, so Powerade has them beat in that department. Plus, the three flavors sound like zingy and delicious classic sour flavors. According to Stack3D, sour Powerade will come in Blue Raspberry (the GOAT), Watermelon, and Green Apple flavors, all set to be released in early 2024. As for how sour they actually are, the people online who have tried samples say these are not very sour at all, noting that they have a “tangy pinch that makes them feel super sweet as much as they are sour,” and that they taste distinctly different from other Powerade flavors. My hope? I want them to taste like Sour Punch Straws—they come in the same flavors, so why not?
Now for the biggest question of all: Why didn’t they just name it Sour-ade? That one remains a mystery, but it is on my bucket list to someday randomly meet someone who works in Powerade’s marketing department and ask them personally.