I have been on this earth for over 20 years and never once have I tried a single blue raspberry-flavored thing that I didn’t like. Blue raspberry has that somethin’ somethin’, that je ne sais quoi, that good good, that (dare I say it) razzle-dazzle, that other artificial flavors lack. Doesn’t matter if it’s ICEEs, Otter Pops, Sour Patch Kids, Warheads, Sno-Cones, Fun Dip, popsicles, lollipops, or Jolly Ranchers, the first flavor to run out at a party is always blue raspberry. Why? Because, as Tina Turner would say, it’s “simply the best.”
I have a theory as to why this flavor is so superior. First of all, there are two kinds of people in this world: people who prefer the citrus candy flavors, and people who prefer the red and purple flavors. That’s just the way it is. Blue raspberry falls right in between those two groups of flavors. It has the sour sharpness of the citrus flavors and the sweet depth and complexity of the red and purple flavors. Blue raspberry truly has it all. Secondly, and this practically goes without saying, blue raspberry is BLUE! There are absolutely no naturally existing blue foods in nature (except maybe spirulina? I’m going to ignore that to make my point), so blue-colored food is a novelty. The fact that we get to eat blue things is as unnatural as it is awesome. Science has truly brought us so far.
Speaking of science, what exactly is the flavor of blue raspberry? Does anyone really know? Is it actually just a nectar sent to us by some benevolent all-powerful being? Well, as it turns out, blue raspberry flavor is in fact based on a raspberry, just not the raspberries we are used to eating. It’s supposed to taste like a Blackcap Raspberry aka White Bark Raspberry aka Rubus Leucodermis aka my hero. Most of us haven’t tried this type of raspberry, which is (contrary to all of its names) deep bluish-purple when ripe. But oh my goodness do I want to try it now.
There aren’t many artificial flavors I could ramble on about for five hundred words. When it comes to blue raspberry, however, I could write a thousand. But I’m curious! What do you think? Are you going to razz me for my opinion or agree with me and be right? Let me know in the comments!