Oh, Thomas’, the only English Muffin brand with name recognition, the maker of slightly sweet and slightly too small bagels, and one of the few food companies whose products make me say, “Meh, I’m good.”
But there’s a strong chance that’s all about to change.
This week Thomas’ released a line of individually wrapped muffin tops—essentially just the top part of a muffin that goes over the edge of the muffin paper. It’s the bestest and moistest part of the muffin. In some cases, it’s the bestest and crunchiest part of the muffin. Either way, it’s the bestest.
Muffin tops as a concept have existed for a while now. In a 1997 episode of Seinfeld, Elaine eloquently describes muffin tops as the part “where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of…does its own thing!” What I didn’t realize until today, is that a Seinfeld writer actually invented muffin tops. And when McDonalds started selling muffin tops roughly 20 years later in 2018, that same Seinfeld writer (Spike Feresten) was understandably miffed when McDonalds paid him absolutely nothing for the idea. And this is all made even more ridiculous considering that was actually the exact plot of that Seinfeld episode: Elaine has the idea for muffin tops, and Mr. Lippman takes that idea and uses it to open his own muffin top bakery. Sometimes life is too meta for its own good.
Anyways, back to Thomas’ muffin tops, which Mr. Feresten has not yet weighed in on to my knowledge.
Thomas’ is offering its tops in both “Chocolate Chips” and “Blueberries and Oats.” Why are they plural? Who knows! Maybe there are just so many blueberries and oats in there that “Blueberry Oat” just wasn’t going to cut it? Maybe there’s a normal amount of chocolate chips in there but Thomas’ was worried people would be mad if the packaging said, “Chocolate Chip” (singular), and yet the muffin tops contained many. Either way, these flavors both look great, and I’ll definitely give them a try if I see them in the store. You never know, Thomas’ brand could surprise me yet. Maybe this time they’ve made a muffin product that’s really top-notch.
