In this Super Snack Flavor Match, Rhett & Link ranked popular ranch-flavored food items on a scale of one to ten based on how much each one tasted like actual ranch dressing. The goal? Awarding one winner the esteemed title of “Ranch Brian”—but in this case, we wound up with two winners. Let’s see what they thought of the seven ranch-flavored products in their lineup, ranked from worst to best.
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StarKist Tuna Creations Ranch — 3 points
Rhett professed his love for Tuna Creations and revealed that he has a tuna drawer at home “just for a little protein punch” on a Saturday afternoon. However, Rhett & Link felt that even though the necessary ranch flavor ingredients are technically present in the product (as Link said, “They are trying”), this tuna just didn’t quite cut it. Link gave StarKist the benefit of the doubt with a score of exactly one. Rhett awarded the product a whopping two, bringing the total tuna score to three.
Lester’s Fixins Ranch Dressing Soda — 4 points
“It’s all fun until you taste it.” Link’s words sum up how the two felt about this ill-conceived soda. They didn’t like it. Rhett & Link agreed that this soda conjured a certain familial foot aroma. “Drinking this is like sucking a grandma toe,” said Link, who gave this drink a one. Rhett boldly awarded it three points because “before you get the grandma shavings, there is a little bit of a ranch that happens.” That brought the total to four for this stink drink.
Snyder’s of Hanover Buttermilk Ranch Pretzel Pieces — 6 points
Rhett & Link were ambushed by big dill flavor in these crunchy pretzel pieces. But that moved them away from ranch territory. “If you’re gonna do the dill this hard, you gotta call it something else,” they said. “This is not ranch, my friend,” Link said, and gave the pretzels a two. Rhett gave them a four because he said he respects the dill, bringing the total to six.
Ranch Pringles — 11 points
Rhett & Link couldn’t keep their hands off these chips, but do they really taste like ranch? Rhett felt that they were “approaching ranch,” but never quite made it there, which earned them a score of five. Link admired the noble effort made by Pringles, and gave them a six for a total of 11.
Corn Nuts Ranch — 12 points
Rhett & Link gave props to Corn Nuts for the “unmatched crunch” they bring to the snack kingdom. However, they soon became overwhelmed by the crunch and turned to the “lick daddy” method to discern the true flavor. Rhett said, “The initial lick is very ranch. I’m gonna give it a six…but then the corn begins to take over.” Link agreed and also gave the Corn Nuts a six, as well for a total of twelve points.
Kernel Season’s Ranch Popcorn Seasoning — 14 points
“This has a lot of flavor, y’all,” said Link as he dug into a bowl of popcorn covered in powdered ranch seasoning. Rhett & Link were really into this one. They even took turns knocking back dry shots of it, and Link gave it an enthusiastic eight points. Rhett was missing the dill factor, however, and gave it a score of six for a total of 14.
Cool Ranch Doritos — 14 points
Rhett & Link love the tangy flavor of ranch, and Cool Ranch Doritos indeed bring the tang. In terms of ranch power, Rhett said, “I think this spice flavor is not that far off” from the real thing. Our boys each gave the chips a score of seven, bringing the total to 14.
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Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!