The new Figo! Bars (exclamation point the packaging’s choice, not mine) have been making the rounds on TikTok as the frozen Trader Joe’s dessert you simply must run and buy right now. The posts demand that you drop everything and sprint to your nearest TJ’s for fear that they might run out of the ice cream bars. But are they really that good?
Appropriately, the Italian word “figo” translates to “cool” or “trendy” or “hot” in the Paris Hilton sense of the word. I have to say I was excited about tasting these treats. They’re marketed as being two desserts in one—half ice cream bar, half ice cream sandwich. I like both of those things very much. And the packaging is extremely pleasing. It looks retro and authentically Italian. Most of the TikTok reviews I saw gave the dessert a 10/10. So, yes, I came in with high expectations. Were they met? Drumroll please….
Unfortunately, TikTok has once again let me down. These bars simply fall flat in every way except two: form factor and calorie count. I love the concept of two ice cream desserts in one and when they’re smooshed together into a frozen treat version of CatDog, they look great—so fun. And the serving size of two bars comes in at just 350 calories. If that sort of thing matters to you, then you can comfortably chow down a double dessert and still have WW points left over for a late night snack. But, here’s the problem: I don’t want two of these. I don’t really want one. The ice cream does not taste like vanilla—it’s just cold sweet stuff. And the cookie texture is grainy. The chocolate encasing the ice cream bar section is fine. But this is not crave-worthy. And they fail to satisfy my desire for either an ice cream sandwich or an ice cream bar.
Hi! I’m the editor-in-chief of Sporked. I will never turn down a fresh-shucked oyster but I’ll also leap at whatever new product Reese’s releases and I love a Tostitos Hint of Lime, even if there is no actual lime in the ingredients.
Why you should trust me: I have been writing about food and beverages for well over a decade and am an avid at-home cook and snacker. I began my career writing about fine dining and recipes, moved into cocktails and spirits, and now I talk about groceries. If you can eat it or drink it, I’ve probably written about it.
What I buy every week: Trader Joe’s dried okra. Appleton Farms prosciutto from Aldi. Some sort of Trader Joe’s cheese (I’m into the aged gouda at the moment). Frozen waffles (usually the Eggo Cinnamon Toast Minis). Spindrift water (loving the Cosmopolitan right now).
Favorite ranking: Smoked salmon. Imagine me as Scrooge McDuck but instead of coins I’m diving into a vault of slippery smoked salmon slices. Pure joy. I also found some real steals in that taste test!
Least favorite ranking: Canned oysters. I had such high hopes for this but it quickly became a chore. The kitchen smelled like an uncleaned aquarium.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!
You’re spot on about the figos Justine! They sounded so promising
I don’t know if you said anything about hold the cone but the coffee is the only good flavor for me and they only have it like 2 months but there’s too much cone on ’em
It’s kinda like hold the pickles or hold the onions… keep some of it back… too much cone!
Find the best! Taste the rest!
Oh wow, I just read Eric’s review & he said the same thing… then I spotted it!
Justine Sterling
Griffin Parker
Jordan Myrick
Gwynedd Stuart
You’re spot on about the figos Justine! They sounded so promising
I don’t know if you said anything about hold the cone but the coffee is the only good flavor for me and they only have it like 2 months but there’s too much cone on ’em
It’s kinda like hold the pickles or hold the onions… keep some of it back… too much cone!
Find the best! Taste the rest!
Oh wow, I just read Eric’s review & he said the same thing… then I spotted it!
Spot on