An Ice Cold Review of Trader Joe’s New Figo! Bars

The new Figo! Bars (exclamation point the packaging’s choice, not mine) have been making the rounds on TikTok as the frozen Trader Joe’s dessert you simply must run and buy right now. The posts demand that you drop everything and sprint to your nearest TJ’s for fear that they might run out of the ice cream bars. But are they really that good?

Appropriately, the Italian word “figo” translates to “cool” or “trendy” or “hot” in the Paris Hilton sense of the word. I have to say I was excited about tasting these treats. They’re marketed as being two desserts in one—half ice cream bar, half ice cream sandwich. I like both of those things very much. And the packaging is extremely pleasing. It looks retro and authentically Italian. Most of the TikTok reviews I saw gave the dessert a 10/10. So, yes, I came in with high expectations. Were they met? Drumroll please….

New Product!

Figo! Half Dipped Chocolate & Vanilla Sandwich Bars

Trader Joe’s

Unfortunately, TikTok has once again let me down. These bars simply fall flat in every way except two: form factor and calorie count. I love the concept of two ice cream desserts in one and when they’re smooshed together into a frozen treat version of CatDog, they look great—so fun. And the serving size of two bars comes in at just 350 calories. If that sort of thing matters to you, then you can comfortably chow down a double dessert and still have WW points left over for a late night snack. But, here’s the problem: I don’t want two of these. I don’t really want one. The ice cream does not taste like vanilla—it’s just cold sweet stuff. And the cookie texture is grainy. The chocolate encasing the ice cream bar section is fine. But this is not crave-worthy. And they fail to satisfy my desire for either an ice cream sandwich or an ice cream bar.

Rating:

6/10

Sporks