Southwest Airlines has made some bold moves lately, both good and bad. Bad: Scrapping their universally beloved open seating system in favor of one that’s similar to every other crappy airline on planet Earth (not to mention doing away with “bags fly free”—sigh). Good: Ditching the inevitably stale snack mix and giving passengers little packets of Stellar Maui Monk Pretzel Braids instead.
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To know them is to love them. The pretzels are buttery and the seasoning is a little bit sweet (thanks to monkfruit) and soooooo onion-y. Kind of a bold choice for the close quarters of an airplane, tbh, but we’re so into these things that as soon as they started popping up at the grocery store, we added them to our ranking of the best pretzels, bad breath be damned. Naturally, Trader Joe’s wanted in on that action. The dupe-aholic grocery chain recently unleashed Sweet Onion Style Pretzel Twists on the snack aisle, so we grabbed a bag to see how they stack up to their inspiration.
Pro: These aren’t a one-to-one dupe for Stellar Maui Monk, but they’re pretty good. The onion seasoning nails that sweet-savory allium balance (alliance?) and the pretzels themselves are nice and crunchy. They have less of the faux butter flavor than Stellar’s and Dot’s respective pretzel braids, and I have a hunch that’s a plus for a lot of people.
Con: Ultimately, I wish these were a touch more flavorful. Like, upon first bite you get a lot of that nice sweet onion flavor, but by the time you’ve finished chewing the pretzel, the onion flavor has basically vanished. But you know what doesn’t vanish? The smell of onion on your breath. Woof. The cashier at Trader Joe’s told me to have some mints ready and she wasn’t playing. A real lingering stink fest in the ol’ pie hole—worth it for Stellar, but maybe slightly less so for these.
Howdy! I’m Gwynedd, Sporked’s managing editor. I live in Los Angeles and have access to the best tacos the U.S. has to offer—but I’m a sucker for a crunchy Old El Paso taco night every now and then. I’ve been at Sporked since 2022 and I’m still searching frozen mozzarella sticks that can hold a candle to restaurant sticks.
Why you should trust me: I’ve been a journalist for 20 years (yikes), a consumer of food for 40-plus years, and I’m truly hard pressed to think of foods I don’t like (or that I can’t tolerate at the very least). Oh and one time I cooked my way through Guy Fieri’s cookbook and wrote about the journey through Flavortown.
What I buy every week: Trader Joe’s Original Savory Thins. Fat free plain yogurt (usually Fage or Nancy’s). Honeycrisp apples. Sweet cream coffee creamer for my at-home Americanos. A frozen cauliflower crust pizza and some jarred mushrooms to top it with. Old El Paso Stand ‘N Stuff taco shells and Gardein Ground Be’f, even though I think “be’f” is a nightmarish contraction.
Favorite ranking: Stouffer’s frozen dinners. I don’t own a microwave (I get my cancers the old fashioned way!), so I love taste testing things that I don’t really buy to eat at home.
Least favorite ranking: Soy sauce. Don’t get me wrong, I love soy sauce—but consuming that much sodium in one sitting is probably illegal in some countries. Our frozen enchilada taste test was a close second; the smell of microwaved corn tortillas still haunts me.
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Gwynedd Stuart
Vinz Karl
Justine Sterling
Jordan Myrick
