New Hostess Tropical Blast Twinkies Are Neither Tropical Nor Blasted

I haven’t had a Twinkie in forever, which I feel like is a good reflection on my mental health. When I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had one, I thought, “Damn. You’re in a good place, Danny. Therapy works. Who knew?” Although, I was unreasonably excited to try a Twinkie again. It’s a once-every-ten-years treat for me, so I walked into it with an open mind. Did the Tropical Blast make a splash? Well…

New Product

Hostess Tropical Blast Twinkies

$10.49 Amazon

I have no clue what makes these Twinkies tropical. They don’t taste fruity or tangy or bright in any way. It’s just a Twinkie with neon blue goo inside. The blue is so stark and fake looking that it is in no way reminiscent of any real type of food, and the taste is nothing but sugar. The Twinkies themselves are pretty good, though, although not as soft and fluffy as I remember.

Honestly, I think this product is an abomination in the eyes of God and proof that we are all going to be deservedly smote by our creator.

That said, it’s a Twinkie, so 6 out of 10 Sporks.

Credit: Sarah Demonteverde / Instacart

Rating:

6/10

Sporks