What Happened to Squeezits?

The ‘90s were a wild time to be a hungry little kid. It wasn’t enough to be a delicious treat available at the grocery store; almost every possible food had an accompanying commercial with that snack coming to life, talking to you, promising a lifestyle change to the extreme should you consume them. There was ketchup in ungodly colors, candy that turned our heads into fruits that exploded with juice, fruit roll-ups that left our tongues tattooed, and drinks in bottles with faces. These were called Squeezits, and they were glorious.

What are Squeezits? 

Squeezit was a fruit-flavored juice made by General Mills that was popular in the ‘90s. It came in plastic bottles that you had to squeeze in order to get the juice to come out. You could actually suck the juice out too if you didn’t feel like squeezing, but Suckits would have been a terrible name for a juice drink. Like a lot of ‘90s fads, Squeezits actually launched in the late ‘80s. And like a lot of fruit flavored juice drinks of the time, there wasn’t actually that much real fruit juice in them. But that didn’t matter and Squeezits found success in the ‘90s with their bizarre commercials and accompanying catchphrase, “Squeeze the fun out of it.” 

What was up with those Squeezit commercials?

Those wacky Squeezits commercials featured real, human children tearing into a pack of animated Squeezit that are making it clear they do not want to be squeezed or drank. The bottles have faces and are not pleased by the actions of these thirsty kids. Like many ‘90s food ads, these commercials went a long way to give Squeezits distinct personalities. They even had names; Silly Billy Strawberry, Chucklin’ Cherry, Berry B. Wild, Rockin’ Red Puncher, Mean Green Puncher, Smarty Arty Orange, Troppi Tropical Punch, and Grumpy Grape, which was later changed to Gallopin’ Grape after an implied attitude adjustment. Of course, everyone’s favorite flavor was the blue Squeezit aka Berry B. Wild. Because blue was the flavor of the ‘90s. 

What was the Mystery Squeezit? 

Believe it or not, the genius idea of anthropomorphic bottles you have to forcibly squeeze to drink didn’t stay popular for long. So Squeezit introduced some gimmicks. First came the Mystery Squeezits. Squeezits came in six packs and now there was one mysterious black bottle, whose flavor was a complete mystery! The flavor was not always the same but one prominent mystery flavor that’s fondly remembered in fan groups was kiwi strawberry. 

What was the color changing Squeezit?

Another fun Squeezit gimmick was the color changing Squeezits. These looked like normal Squeezits but they came with a little tablet that, when dropped into the bottle, changed the drink’s color. For example, you may have a blue Squeezit and then you drop the little tablet in and now you have a green Squeezit! It’s like magic! These were introduced around 1996. At that time Squeezit was facing some tough competition from Kool-Aid, Capri Sun, and Hi-C. So the company did what they needed to and what they needed to do was give kids color changing capsules! The brand also collaborated with Lifesavers to make Wild Watermelon, Blue Raspberry, and Tropical Fruit. Ultimately, Squeezit stopped production in 2001. They had brief flashes of life, reappearing on shelves from 2006 to 2007, and 2011 to 2012. But as of right now, it looks like Squeezits are gone for good. If you want to experience the joy of Squeezits, the only way to do it these days is to buy some of the 30-year-old bottles that I sell out of the trunk of my Kia Forte. Hit me up.

About the Author

Will Morgan

Will Morgan, a freelance contributor to Sporked, is an L.A. based writer, actor, and sketch comedy guy. Originally from Houston, TX, he strongly believes in the superiority of breakfast tacos to breakfast burritos. Will traveled the world as one of those people that did yoyo shows at elementary school assemblies, always making a point to find local and regional foods to explore in whatever place he was, even in rinky-dink towns like Tilsonberg, ON. Will spends his birthdays at Benihana’s. Let him know if can make it.

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