What Is a Nacho Table?

Beautiful, isn’t it? “Nacho Table” conjures an image of a utopian world where furniture is made of delicious tortilla chips and gooey cheese. Well, the reality is just a hair less preposterous. An actual nacho table is a TikTok food craze wherein one covers an entire table-top with a nacho spread, complete with all the fixings.

Now, is a nacho table simply pouring a bunch of nachos on a table and calling your buddies over to help clean up the mess? No no, not at all. There’s an often meticulous air to a nacho table set up that takes on an almost zen-like quality. Creating a dynamic, yet sensible flow to the order of ingredients is key (folks shouldn’t be grabbing handfuls of salsa first to slap onto the chips when they make it to the other end). But, like a jigsaw puzzle, it’s kind of just fun to figure it out! 

For all the neat freaks who may be reading, the idea of “table top nachos” likely makes you wonder how the table underneath is going to take all the sloppy ingredients. Well, don’t worry, because the start to any good nacho table set up is the precautionary laying down of tin foil or butcher paper to ensure nothing leaks onto that antique table that has been in your family for generations (but I bet your great-great grandparents would have flipped for the chance to snack on a meticulous nacho spread). Maybe even go foil AND butcher paper, to make doubly sure your table doesn’t absorb any undue queso

After that, it’s up to you to layer on the nachos. Here’s what we’re thinking when it comes to nacho table ingredients: Start with tortilla chips, then add seasoned ground beef or shredded chicken or some other beans or all of it, cheese (cheese sauce or queso works best since you’re aren’t putting the table in the oven, most likely), shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, and sliced olives if you’re that kind of guy. Some folks put the salsa and guac and sour cream in the middle of the table for people to add as they see fit. But you can also just glob those nachos condiments right on there. And why stop there? No one will stop you from incorporating some gummy worms or walnuts as part of your nacho party, although you may well get dragged on “nacho table tik tok” if you do. 

Then, all that’s left to do is dig in! Ta-da! You’re finished—until it’s time for clean up.  That’s when you’ll thank your stars you put that foil underneath. Just peel up a corner, ball it up, and away it goes! 

Once you’ve mastered the art of the nacho table, we recommend nacho-izing the rest of the furniture in your house. Just don’t be mad if your guests accidentally put their feet up on your “nacho ottoman.”

About the Author

Joe Rumrill

Joe Rumrill is a fictional one-eyed spinach-loving sailor created in 1929 by E.C Se- Wait, no, that's not right... Joe Rumrill is a stand up comedian and writer currently based in Los Angeles. His favorite thing about food is a close tie between the taste and the nutrients one gets from it. His least favorite thing about it is the "gritty, dirt-like quality some food has", but he's most likely referring to the time in third grade he was dared to eat playground sand.

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