The Best Beer if You Don’t Like Beer

We sip a lot of beer here at Sporked, and we do it for work, during work hours, on the company dime. Sounds fun, right? Ha. Kidding. I know why you’re here—you hate beer. Or at the very least, you haven’t found a beer that you can honestly say you’ve enjoyed. I think that’s admirable. Plenty of people just pretend to like things that seem edgy, cool, or on-theme, which is probably why all of your tailgate parties and beach hangs only ever seem to have beer, soda, and maybe the odd canned cocktail or two. We’re not here to convince you beer actually tastes good. Instead, we’ve put together some recommendations for the best beers to buy if you struggle to tolerate, well, most beer. Check ‘em out. 

 Dos Equis Original Michelada

Micheladas are a dream for people who don’t like beer. They have the fizz of a nice, light beer, but they mostly taste like tomato juice, and that rules. The Sporked crew fell in love with Dos Equis premixed, canned michelada during their michelada taste test. It’s tart, sour, a touch salty, and has a nice sweetness from the tomato juice, too. Add a couple of dashes of hot sauce and it really has it all. If you don’t like beer but you love drinks that aren’t super sweet, this is the way to go. —Vinz Karl

Read the full ranking of the best micheladas

Budweiser Select 55

True beer drinkers will probably thumb their noses at this low-carb beer from Budweiser, but it’s one of the best beers for people who don’t like beer. According to managing editor Gwynedd Stuart, it “tastes like nothing in a pleasant way,” almost like a beer flavored-seltzer. It has a “whispery” flavor that’s perfect for people who don’t want a beer that shouts (if you know what I mean). Also, the 55 in its name refers to the number of calories in a 12 ounce can or bottle. That’s low! If you’re gonna be stuck drinking beer all day, this is the beer you want to be stuck drinking, trust me. —Vinz Karl

Read the full ranking of the best low carb beer

Dos Equis Lime & Salt Zero Non-Alcoholic

If you don’t like beer because you don’t like the way it tastes and you don’t like the way a hangover makes you feel the next day, Dos Equis Lime & Salt Zero is the best beer for you. The entire Sporked team flipped for this one. It’s light and limey with just a touch of salt, almost like a cross between a beer and a dry soda. We ranked it among the best summer beers, but you’ll want to drink this all year long—even if you don’t like beer. And, hey, you’ll save some dough on an Uber home from the party. —Vinz Karl

Read the full ranking of the best summer beers

Abita Strawberry Lager

Fruit-flavored beers are great for people who don’t like beer, and this strawberry lager from Abita is a really tasty one. Yes, you can taste beer, but the light, tart, and not-too-sweet strawberry flavor makes drinking this totally tolerable—even, dare I say, enjoyable. It’s perfect for that BYOB brunch to which you’re obligated to bring a six-pack. —Vinz Karl

Read the full ranking of the best Abita beer

Dr. Brown’s Root Beer

See what we did there? Okay, okay, so this one’s a cheat, but it’s for the people who REALLY don’t like beer. Like, cannot handle the flavor. Smell makes them gag. Thought of it makes them queasy. I’m telling you, if your aversion is that strong, people won’t mind if you show up with a sixer of Dr. Brown’s root beer. It’s spicy, sophisticated, and earthy—much fancier than most sodas and it has beer in the name. Sometimes the best beer if you hate beer is root beer—we said what we said! —Vinz Karl

Read the full ranking of the best root beer

Blue Moon Mango Wheat Ale Fruity Craft Beer

Blue Moon is a great entry-level beer that still has a bit of malt and wheat with every sip—dare I say, Blue Moon might be one of the beer brands that makes you think you do like beer after all? Controversial? Maybe. This mango flavor in particular is one of my personal faves and tastes way more fruity and crisp than wheaty. It’s inoffensive and light, like the rosé of wines. If that sounds tolerable to you, definitely give this a shot! —Ariana Losch 

Shiner Lemonade Shandy 

Sometimes all you need is a heavy dose of citric acid and a little cane sugar to confuse your brain and make you forget you’re holding a beer, and that’s what you get with Shiner’s Lemonade Shandy. It tastes like lemon soda mixed with beer—heavy on the lemon soda. It’s bright and tangy and a little sweet (the sugar really distracts from the beer), the perfect cold beverage for a BBQ. —Ariana Losch 

Read our full ranking of the best summer beers

21st Amendment Hell or High Watermelon 

Maybe you’re sensing a pattern now. Don’t love beer? Grab the one that looks fruity. 21st Amendment Hell or High Watermelon beer has a subtle, bright watermelon flavor that’s surprisingly light on the sweetness. It almost has this refreshing cucumber thing going for it—probably because it’s brewed with pressed watermelon, not loaded with artificial watermelon flavor. It’s very dry and crisp and nontraditional. If you find this in a beach cooler, snag it immediately. —Ariana Losch 

Kona Light

The classic Kona Light is another one of those entry-level beers that might just change your mind about beer. It’s different from the Budweiser on this list in that you can actually taste the hops—usually the deal-breaker for beer haters—but Kona balances the bitterness beautifully. It’s tropical, with subtle notes of pineapple and mango that smooth out the finish. —Ariana Losch 

Read our full ranking of the best light beer