The Best Beer if You Don’t Like Beer

I’ve gone on record about my distaste for beer. It’s just not for me and I’ve accepted that about myself. If I am forced to have a beer, I’ll sip on it all night long as it gets warmer and worse. That said, I do still abide by the premise of BYOB even if I’m not going to drink a lot of it, so I thought a list of the best beer if you don’t like beer might come in handy. The Sporked crew has tasted and ranked a lot of beer—and a lot of it is stuff I wouldn’t voluntarily touch with a ten-foot pole. Miss me with the super hoppy IPAs, the heavy chocolate stouts, and weirdly tart sours. If I’m going to be forced to drink beer in a social setting because everyone else around me wants to drink beer, I want something that’s either super light (basically, beer-flavored LaCroix) or that’s flavored with something else that masks the taste of beer to at least some extent. If you’re looking for the best beer for non-beer drinkers, you’ve come to the right place.

 Dos Equis Original Michelada

Micheladas are a dream for people who don’t like beer. They have the fizz of a nice, light beer, but they mostly taste like tomato juice, and that rules. The Sporked crew fell in love with Dos Equis premixed, canned michelada during their michelada taste test. Senior writer Jordan Myrick, who also doesn’t love beer, even said, “This is not just the best canned michelada, it’s the best canned cocktail I’ve ever had.” It’s tart, sour, a touch salty, and has a nice sweetness from the tomato juice, too. Add a couple of dashes of hot sauce and it really has it all. If you don’t like beer but you love drinks that aren’t super sweet, this is the way to go.

Read the full ranking of the best micheladas

Budweiser Select 55

True beer drinkers will probably thumb their noses at this low-carb beer from Budweiser, but it’s one of the best beers for people who don’t like beer. According to managing editor Gwynedd Stuart, it “tastes like nothing in a pleasant way,” almost like a beer flavored-seltzer. It has a “whispery” flavor that’s perfect for people who don’t want a beer that shouts (if you know what I mean). Also, the 55 in its name refers to the number of calories in a 12 ounce can or bottle. That’s low! If you’re gonna be stuck drinking beer all day, this is the beer you want to be stuck drinking, trust me.

Read the full ranking of the best low carb beer

Dos Equis Lime & Salt Zero Non-Alcoholic

If you don’t like beer because you don’t like the way it tastes and you don’t like the way a hangover makes you feel the next day, Dos Equis Lime & Salt Zero is the best beer for you. The entire Sporked team flipped for this one. “It’s so light and limey with just a touch of salt, which makes the slightly sweet lime flavor absolutely sing,” Sporked editor-in-chief Justine Sterling wrote. “It tastes like if a beer met a grown-up, dry soda.” Justine ranked it among the best summer beers, but you’ll want to drink this all year long—even if you don’t like beer. And, hey, you’ll save some dough on an Uber home from the party.

Read the full ranking of the best summer beers

Abita Strawberry Lager

Fruit-flavored beers are great for people who don’t like beer, and this strawberry lager from Abita is a really tasty one. Yes, you can taste beer, but the light, tart, and not-too-sweet strawberry flavor makes drinking this totally tolerable—even, dare I say, enjoyable. It’s perfect for that BYOB brunch you’re obligated to bring a six-pack to. “I could drink this all day,” Justine said, and we think you’ll be able to, too.

Read the full ranking of the best Abita beer

Dr. Brown’s Root Beer

See what we did there? Okay, okay, so this one’s a cheat. But this one is for the people who REALLY don’t like beer. Like, cannot handle the flavor. Smell makes them gag. Thought of it makes them queasy. I’m telling you, if your aversion is that strong, people won’t mind if you show up with a sixer of Dr. Brown’s root beer. It’s spicy, sophisticated, and earthy—much fancier than most sodas and it has beer in the name. Sometimes the best beer if you hate beer is root beer—we said what we said!

Read the full ranking of the best root beer

About the Author

Vinz Karl

Vinz Karl is a freelance contributor to Sporked and self-proclaimed Guy Fieri superfan. He believes in breakfast supremacy and is on a never-ending mission to try every flavor of Oreo out there. Originally from the Midwest, Vinz now resides in Los Angeles, where you can find him going on hikes, checking out new restaurants, and preparing for his eventual casting on CBS's Survivor.

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  • Stupid concept. If you don’t like beer why would you be looking for a beer that doesn’t really taste like beer? Are you that much of a robot that you feel obligated to drink something you don’t like just to fit in? Just stay home.