The best energy drinks are flavorful and give you a needed boost of vitality. Energy drinks shouldn’t taste metallic or bland, and they should provide a relatively instant jolt to your mood and senses. So what energy drinks tasted great and made us the most amped?
Christ, just looking at a comprehensive list of energy drinks makes me want to call my Dad and work things out. Venom, Monster, and Full Throttle all sound like the names of roller coasters that were shut down after they killed people. Meanwhile, I guess making your heart explode seems to be the central theme behind drinks like C-4 and Bomb? Here’s a new one: I just found out about Relentless, which looks like what they keep stocked in the fridges at a company that professionally doxxes women. Point is, if you told me there was an energy drink called Night Terror or Anxiety Demon I would believe you, because for some unknown reason, this is what men want to buy: A giant, silver can full of guarana, B vitamins, and L-Carnitine called Zoo Attack or some shit.
Rant aside, some of these energy drinks were quite pleasant. Some are just way, way too sugary, but others actually achieve a nice balance of flavor. Flavor was the key component of judging here. Utility was a close second. Will this energy drink do the job? Will it give you energy without making you feel like doo doo? That’s important, too. So let’s dive into this hellscape of drinks and rank the top eight.
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- Zevia Zero Calorie Energy Raspberry Lime
Zevia is really lovely and a nice departure from the aforementioned bro drinks that we seem to be moving away from, fortunately. It’s carbonated and has a subtle, fruity flavor. The raspberry lime combination is brightly acidic and flavorful, too. I mean, I would gladly drink this on ice as a fancy beverage (that means I would put alcohol in it). I gravitate towards drinks that have just a few ingredients, and Zevia only contains caffeine, carbonated water, citric acid, natural flavors, and stevia leaf extract. It delivers great flavor and a good boost of energy without making you feel horrible and crazy. This is a damn fine energy drink.
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- Juice Monster Pipeline Punch
An utterly delicious fruit-flavored energy drink that managing editor Gwynedd Stuart ranked number one in her Monster energy drink taste test. The fizz of a Monster energy drink is exceptional, and the tropical guava flavor here is aromatic and delightfully fruity. They use a lot of natural juice concentrate to achieve the awesome taste (pineapple, apple, orange, and passionfruit), and it pays dividends. There’s a lot of sugar here, so I see this as more of a sweet treat and not a beverage you’d want as part of your daily routine, but it’s damn good nonetheless.
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- Juice Monster Mango Loco
I liked this one so much it made me swear. The mango flavor is just so delightfully ripe! I sincerely buy that this was made from actual fruit juice. Pretty impressive for a brand called “Monster,” ya know? It’s absolutely full of sugar, but also pineapple juice concentrate, mango puree, apple juice concentrate, peach puree, and orange juice concentrate. What you’re tasting is a chemical balance of many different fruits and flavors, but, damn dude, it just works. Good stuff.
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- Alani Nu Cosmic Stardust
A bizarre name for an energy drink, but beam me up to space baby because this tastes really good. The fruit flavor here is insane; it tastes more like Starburst than the C-4 Starburst energy drink does! The fake berry flavor just works really well with a sparkling, carbonated drink like Alani Nu. Low calories, low on sugar, and it’s got a great taste. Alani Nu cosmic stardust is a great, light-tasting energy drink that delivers both caffeine and flavor without too much extra trash, so it’s sure to keep you in high spirits.
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- Celsius Sparkling Orange
Another light and refreshing carbonated energy drink here, this time from Celsius. To me, orange is a fantastic fake flavor that works really well (see: Sunny D). This conjures the experience of having orange drink as a kid after a sporting event. The orange flavor is just so juicy and bright. Bottom line: Celsius is a sparkling energy drink with great flavor, only five ingredients, and low calories. It’s got a lot of vitamin C, vitamin B, and ginger root, too. This is another one I’d put on ice. It’s just so darn refreshing. Moreover, this is what an energy drink should be.
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- Guru Organic Energy Drink
A delightfully carbonated energy drink that’s light and fruity. All of the ingredients are plant-based and organic, too. The flavor is enticingly sweet and aromatic, with lots of added taste from organic cane syrup and the white grape juice concentrate. Guru has been around since 1999, which is wild because I’ve never heard of them until now. There’s a lot of sugar in one can (30 grams!), but this still feels like a healthful, organic energy drink that’s going to do its job properly.
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- The Coconut Edition Coconut Berry Red Bull
As we learned in our previous Red Bull tasting, the coconut flavor here just works! It does such a good job at masking that slightly unpleasant, nondescript, almost metallic flavor of Red Bull. I’m quite impressed that a coconut-flavored energy drink can wind up tasting this good. If you don’t fancy yourself a Red Bull fan, you might actually like this.
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- Sugar Free Red Bull
I’m mental for Sugar Free Red Bull. It’s what we keep stocked in the Mythical fridges at all times, and if I’m feeling sluggish after, I don’t know, a 12 p.m. pancake tasting, I can go ahead and slam one of these to right the ship. Sugar Free Red Bull has virtually no taste when you compare it to say, the Monster Pipeline Punch or Mango Loco, but it does its job just beautifully. I’m also hearing that it gives you wings? But, I’m currently in a legal battle to dispute this claim, as I have yet to manifest any such angelic qualities despite drinking at least two of these a week.
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Best of the Best
Best Flavor
Best Fruity
Best Carbonated
Best Orange
Best Organic
Best Red Bull
Best Sugar Free
Other products we tried: Bob Ross Positive Energy Drink, Venom Black Mamba, C-4, C-4 Skittles, C-4 Starburst, Zevia Mango Ginger, Bang, Rockstar, Red Bull, Monster, Celsius Sparkling Grape, Celsius Sparkling Watermelon
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You forgot about NOS mango which is one of my favorites. NOS grape and the original isn’t bad either.
You didn’t put any Raze flavors on this list so obviously it’s not the top 10 😂 Raze has won clash of the cans 2 years in a row now.
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Whay don’t havr energetic drinks this: Hell? This no god for energetic drinks this: Hell. Best teaste for me is ih this: Hell.
The pipeline punch is my favorite one of them all. Totally recommend!!!
You forgot about bang too
Sup Danny , I’m from Montreal Quebec, where guru is made! We have a product called guru water ( organic sparkling water beverage ) which would claim more top spots in ur rankings!
I don’t enjoy the coconut redbull it makes me think of skincare products, the blue berry redbull is my favourite!
I Think You Should Try Bang Rainbow Unicorn