I Tried 4 Different Energy Products in One Week and One Really Worked

Surprise, surprise! I am tired. You are probably also tired.

And how can we not be tired? Between work and family and social lives and keeping our house clean and walking the dog and scrolling on TikTok and waking up in the middle of the night to remember that awkward thing you accidentally did ten years ago, life is exhausting! That’s why energy products exist!

I tried four different energy products over the course of one week to see which got me up and going and which did absolutely nothing.

Day 1: Power Up Foods Coconut Chocolate Chip Caffeinated Cookies

(95mg caffeine per bag, 2 cookies per bag) 

These caffeinated cookies from Power Up Foods had the deck stacked against them. I was more tired on this day than any other day in this energy experiment, so it should speak volumes when I say I feel like this worked great. These cookies get their caffeine from green tea, but they don’t really taste like it. These small cookies taste like dark chocolate and the texture is a little sandy. They’re not the best cookie I’ve ever had, but they taste better than a lot of other energy products on the market. I felt energized without the jitters. Plus, I loved being able to have a little bite of something to energize me rather than having to drink an entire container of liquid. And, no crash!

Day 2: Sugar Free Red Bull

(80mg caffeine per can)

If you’re wondering, “Why sugar free Red Bull and not regular Red Bull? What is the science behind that?” There is no reason. It’s just what we had in the office. If you have an issue with that, take it up with Rhett & Link. The first sip of Red Bull tastes and feels incredible. Halfway through the can, though, it starts to taste and feel very bad. I’m convinced that lukewarm Red Bull is served in Hell. In terms of energizing, I definitely felt it. Sadly, I felt the crash even more. This stuff gave me a high high followed by a low low, like energy drinks often do.

Day 3: La Colombe Triple Draft Latte

(175mg caffeine per can)

I hate the taste of coffee so this one was particularly rough for me. This triple shot felt fine, though. I wasn’t crazy energized, but I did feel the caffeine. When it comes to energy products, this sits right in the middle for me. If you’re a coffee lover, this isn’t a bad option. If you don’t like coffee, don’t make yourself drink it.

Day 4: Guayaki Yerba Mate Traditional Terere

(140 mg of caffeine per bottle)

I am a tea guy through and through. I love the taste of this yerba mate. It’s sweet and a little herbal. It’s so refreshing. And I definitely felt energized after drinking it! There is, sadly, a ton of sugar in it. Because of that, I did get a little bit of a crash. Even with that, I’d still drink this again if I was in need of an energy boost.

Winner: Power Up Foods Coconut Chocolate Chip Caffeinated Cookies

Easy to consume, extremely portable, and no crash? Sign me up! These caffeinated cookies were my favorite energy products I tried. While there are lots of good options, I think these little cookies check all the boxes. Give them a try and get ready to be productive!

About the Author

Jordan Myrick

Jordan is an L.A.-based writer and comedian who believes all food should come with extra sauce. When they're not writing for Sporked, Jordan is at the movies or sharing an order of french fries with their elderly chihuahua.

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