Ariana Losch
Did you know that Hidden Valley Ranch makes over a dozen flavors? And that their absolute best flavor definitely isn’t the OG bottle? It’s not Parmesan Ranch, either (in fact, throw that in the trash if you see it). It’s actually a relatively new Hidden Valley Ranch flavor that everyone on the Sporked team is completely obsessed with.
We tried nearly every flavor from the current Hidden Valley Ranch line-up to rank them from worst to best. (I’m sorry in advance for not including Nashville Hot—that seems to be a fan favorite, but I wasn’t able to find it for this taste test. My condolences, everyone.)
What we looked for in the best HIdden Valley Ranch flavors
- Flavor that elevates the brand: The original Hidden Valley Ranch flavor is a comfortable classic with universal appeal, but I’m looking for more. The top flavors on this list should bring something fresh and creative to your condiment shelf.
- Creamy texture: Anything that borders on snotty, gloopy, or too oily will sit in jail at the bottom of this list.
- Seasoning that actually works: Each flavor needs to land right. No salt bombs, sugar hits, or anything that tastes too processed.
And with that out of the way, onto the ranking!
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- Hidden Valley Parmesan Ranch
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*Points to Hidden Valley Parmesan Ranch in a perp line-up.* “That’s him, officer. Arrest him. He knows what he did.” Look, you guys, I’m never opposed to funky cheese. The funkier, the better, I say. But this tastes like a washcloth that you used to towel off your sweaty feet. Whoever approved it needs to serve some serious time behind bars, and that’s all you need to know.
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Cilantro Lime Ranch
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Actually, police? Since you’re already here, better take this guy back for questioning, too. We suspect he poisoned the product with Dawn dish soap. No one on the Sporked team has the cilantro-soap gene, but we all agreed: This is inedible. Also, it looks inedible, with a vaguely sick green tint that warns you ahead of time about what you’re getting into.
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Spicy Ranch
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I won’t say this Hidden Valley Ranch flavor needs to be arrested, but it’s certainly doing some community service to pay for its sins. It’s barely spicy, with a heat that builds a little bit over time, only to inevitably fade into the background of the ranch. It’s not bad or gross, but it doesn’t deliver on the promise advertised, so what’s the point of buying it?
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Spicy Hot Honey Ranch
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Spicy Hot Honey Ranch has fallen far. We liked it months ago when we first tried it, but like HVR’s Garlic Ranch, we suspect the recipe has changed since then. (Or maybe we just got really tired of the hot honey trend.) It doesn’t have a good honey flavor anymore; it’s mainly just too sweet. The flavors just don’t mesh. It has no real practical use.
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Buttermilk Ranch
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Buttermilk Ranch is kinda boring, but the slight buttermilk tang is still there—just not enough to be worth your time. The OG is better and more herbaceous, and there are so many better buttermilk-forward ranches out there if you’re really seeking that punchy tang. (Seriously, check out Trader Joe’s Buttermilk Ranch from the refrigerated section instead.)
Credit: Liv Averett / Target
- Hidden Valley Garlic Ranch
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When we tried this earlier in the year, we definitely loved it. Now we’re convinced HVR tweaked the recipe on us. In my opinion, it does still gives that signature pizza-chain garlic butter flavor mixed with ranch. But it’s definitely a little more artificial and less fragrant than we remember. The garlic isn’t as deep or robust as it should be. Care to explain, Hidden Valley?
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Original Ranch Light
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HVR’s Light Original Ranch is a good option for anyone cutting back on fat content, because the flavor discrepancy really isn’t that bad. Our editor-in-chief Justine Sterling likened this to the ranch you would get in a grocery store crudité or party platter. It’s not bad, but it’s not winning any flavor awards any time soon.
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Creamy Jalapeño Ranch
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Woof, this one is spicy. I’m actually really impressed by the severity of the spice. You can tell the spice is jalapeño, but we wish it still had a brighter, grassier flavor. Spicy Ranch isn’t spicy enough, while this will genuinely be too spicy for some people. There’s really no middle ground with HVR, but we definitely prefer the spicier product.
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Kickin’ Cajun Blackened Ranch
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Cajun Blackened Ranch rides the line between old spice cabinet and flavorful dipping sauce. Sorry, I know we’re more than halfway through this ranking and I’m still being harsh, but it’s true. The smoky cajun spices definitely lend a more savory depth of flavor, but they kinda sit on the surface of the sauce—I just wish they were more baked in. Still, this makes a nice dipping sauce for chicken tenders and onion rings (heavy on the onion rings), and we totally endorse its appeal.
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Southwest Chipotle Ranch
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WIth mild, smoky spice and roasty notes of garlic, chili pepper, and paprika, Hidden Valley’s Chipotle Ranch deserves your attention. A little drizzle of this would make your burrito bowls and taco salads come to life. I would love to have this on hand every time I order a grain bowl for my office lunch that isn’t really hitting. Job well done, Hidden Valley. Job well done.
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Original Ranch
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Yes, here she is, the OG. Third place is a good spot for her, I think. Original Hidden Valley is tangy, creamy, oniony, and garlicky in a way that’s lived rent-free in the minds of Americans since its inception in the 1950s. We don’t think it’s the best ranch dressing in the universe, but you can’t go wrong with it, that’s for sure. (Also, not to be controversial, but I do think the Hidden Valley Ranch packet mixes are superior to the bottled product… that’s just not what I’m here to rank right now.)
Credit: Liv Averett / Ralphs
- Hidden Valley Sweet BBQ Ranch
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Sweet BBQ Ranch is lush, creamy, complex. It has everything I remember liking about hot honey (a mild, tangy, honeyed sweetness) with that immediate hit of smoky BBQ. To quote myself in my first review of this product, as I said it best: “You’re basically skipping the part where you baste your wings with a BBQ marinade before dipping them in ranch…which is nice for lazy people like me.”
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
- Hidden Valley Cracked Pepper Ranch
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When I first reviewed all the new Hidden Valley Ranches from earlier this year, I thought maybe I was biased in my love for Cracked Pepper Ranch. My favorite pasta dish is cacio e pepe—but with, like, twice the amount of pepper the recipe calls for. My favorite salad dressing is a classic, anchovy-rich Caesar dressing…drowned in pepper. Obviously, loving this egregiously peppery Hidden Valley Ranch flavor was a no-brainer. But after seeing the team try it on camera, I’m happy to report I’m actually not biased at all. Everyone was in awe over this stuff—it’s that good. Put it on crispy chicken, wedge salads, or even roasted veggies. Please, Hidden Valley: Don’t ever take this flavor from us.
Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart
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Runner Up
Best of the Best
Jordan Myrick
Matt Crowley
