The 5 Best Things We Ate in May

I’m not sure how you spent your month of May, but here at the Sporked office, we definitely had a theme going. After trying over two dozen types of wieners and a fridge full of spicy pickles, May was starting to feel a little bit…phallic, so to speak. But while some of these priapic foods made our “best things” social series, that’s not all we loved. From cheese-stuffed Oscar Mayer hot dogs to all of Jeni’s ice cream flavors, it’s time to look fondly back over the past month and see what we most enjoyed putting in our mouths. No matter the shape. 

Oh, and as always, check out our weekly best things series on our social platforms if you want to keep up!

Little Goodies Uncured Beef Hot Dog

My love for tiny wieners grew three sizes this month. If anything, I’ve learned that size truly doesn’t matter—it’s all about the quality of the sausage, you feel me? These Little Goodies hot dogs are made from pasture raised cows, with no added nitrates or nitrites, and you can taste the difference. They are lightly smoked, like most cocktail weiners, but the emphasis is much more on the quality beef. You can tell these have been seasoned with a wide array of spices, just sparingly so. The spices don’t overpower the bold, juicy, savory flavor. They are the perfect finger food. Someone please make pigs in a blanket out of these and tag us, stat! 

Oscar Mayer Chili Cheese Stuffed Dogs

I’m proud to live in a world where we stuff gooey cheese inside of hot dogs for maximum enjoyment. We loved both Oscar Mayer’s Chili Cheese Stuffed Dogs and their Jalapeno Cheddar Stuffed Hot Dogs, but the chili cheese was on another level. It’s spicy and extra savory. Our minds, like these hogs, were blown. Editor, you can take that out, thanks!

Sprouts Chicken Salad

When it comes to prepared foods, Sprouts very rarely disappoints. We had high hopes for their chicken salad—and it exceeded expectations. Sprouts chicken salad tasted the most homemade out of all the other grocery store versions we tried, and not like it was packaged with a ton of preservatives and a gallon of corn syrup (my biggest complaint when it comes to mayo-based deli sides from the supermarket). The chicken is super tender, while the carrots and scallions mixed in tasted crisp and fresh. We are totally obsessed. 

Grillo’s Hot Pickle Spears Classic Dill

These hot Grillo’s pickle spears are such a great find! They come with a killer heat and a hell of a strong dill flavor—stronger than the regular Grillo’s pickles, believe it or not. We fought over who would take these home, and then just decided to leave them in the work fridge to avoid any bad blood between coworkers. 

Jeni’s Lemon & Blueberries Parfait

“It’s sexy, look at that,” said my colleague Jordan Myrick when the lid fell off this Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream flavor to unveil a beautiful blueberry jam swirl in a tart, lemony, buttermilk, and yogurt base. In case you missed it, we released an unedited taste test of all the Jeni’s ice cream flavors (timestamp for lemon blueberry is 10:58; you’re welcome). This dreamy little tub won first place, unanimously. Our spoons were cutting through this ice cream like butter. It was a great day all around. 

About the Author

Ariana Losch

Ariana Losch is a Sporked contributor, webcomic writer, java junkie, and bad TV enthusiast. She only ever feels at peace laying out on a beach like a kebab, roasting in the sun; sadly, she can never move back to Florida, her home state, because there simply isn’t enough good Mediterranean food. You can find her overstaying her welcome at just about every LA coffee shop, working on a screenplay and avoiding all eye contact. (She is embarrassed to be there, please leave her alone.)

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