Totino’s Taste Test! We Found the Best Totino’s Party Pizza and Totino’s Pizza Rolls

When we talk about college struggle meals, ramen always gets all the credit, but we don’t talk enough about Totino’s Party Pizzas. In addition to Maruchan ramen and Chef Boyardi ravioli, Totino’s fueled my undergraduate experience. And where would I be without a liberal arts degree from a state university? DEAD, PROBABLY.

Point is: Totino’s Party Pizzas are extremely cheap. At my local Walmart in Los Angeles, you can currently get a Party Pizza for $1.77. Even their upgraded “Ultimate” pizzas are around $3 each. Wild. Totino’s Pizza Rolls—an institution in their own right—are a little more expensive, but that’s because they are for special occasions, like the parties where someone actually springs for a keg.

Recently, my colleagues and I channeled our younger selves and sat down to every Totino’s Party Pizza and every variety of Totino’s Pizza Rolls. A deep-fried version of reliving our salad days, so to speak. If you have a hankering for nostalgia and 3 bucks in your pocket, here are the best Party Pizzas and Pizzas Rolls for you next classy kegger or late night cram sesh.

Best Totinos Party Pizzas

Totino’s!

Totino’s Triple Meat Party Pizza

Instacart

Okay, first of all, Totino’s Party Pizzas have undergone a transformation since last time I had one. They’re square now. And they come in plastic bags instead of boxes. What hasn’t changed? The savory-sweet sauce and that wonderful, layer-y crust you forgot you loved until I started talking about it just now. A thing I definitely forgot about these little pies? The cheese is very pasty. It impacted how much we enjoyed some of these, but we decided the Triple Meat Totino’s Party Pizza has so much stuff on it—sausage, Canadian style bacon, ground pork and pepperoni seasoned pork and chicken, and beef pizza topping—that you can get past the quality of the cheese. The Canadian bacon is a nice touch—it’s a little bit smoky and classes up the whole affair.

Credit: Liv Averett / Instacart

Rating:

8/10

Sporks

Totinos!

Totino’s Ultimate Cheese Pizza

Walmart

If you’re an adult who no longer prefers to consume “imitation mozzarella cheese” on your pizzas, Totino’s Ultimate pizzas are great. Same crust and cheese, but way more cheese—and it’s actual cheese. You get actual pull here. This one actually sent us all the way back to elementary school—something about a square slice covered in a blanket of cheese is extremely nostalgic.

Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart

Rating:

9/10

Sporks

Totino’s!

Totino’s Ultimate Uncured Pepperoni Pizza

Walmart

This Totino’s Party Pizza is one of my new favorite depression meals—hey, they should call it a Totino’s Pity Party Pizza. It’s so greasy and so cheesy. You get pepperoni rounds and pepperoni bits. It tastes SO GOOD and, truly, so much better than a regular pepperoni Party Pizza for just a few cents more. You get the same layered, pastry-adjacent crust and sweet sauce, but with slightly higher quality toppings. Splurge if you can!

Credit: Liv Averett / Instacart

Rating:

9/10

Sporks

Best Totino’s Pizza Rolls

Totino’s!

Totino’s Hellfire Club Spicy Pepperoni

Walmart

These Totino’s Pizza Rolls are a Stranger Things tie-in, and we tried them when they first came out a few years ago. I wasn’t wowed, but I think they actually got better? These are certainly better than regular Pepperoni Pizza Rolls. The sauce tastes different, almost a little smoky. These are genuinely spicy, but it’s not just that heat is added—there’s heat and a more interesting flavor. Give ‘em a shot.

Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart

Rating:

7.5/10

Sporks

Totino’s

Totino’s NXTLVL Buffalo Chicken Style Pizza Rolls

Walmart

There’s nothing inside these Totino’s Pizza Rolls I would describe as “chicken.” It’s more like a Buffalo chicken-flavored paste. But does it taste good? Sure does, especially with the toasty, bubbly wrapper. I know we have to wait another year for the Super Bowl, but these are a pretty perfect Super Bowl snack.

Credit: Liv Averett / Walmart

Rating:

8/10

Sporks

Totino’s!

Totino’s Pizza Rolls Triple Meat

Instacart

Sad news: Regular Totino’s Pepperoni Pizza Rolls taste a little funny. But if you want a meaty filling that’s a little less funky, go with Triple Meat. Weirdly these are also much saucier, which made them much, much tastier than the other pizza rolls we tried. 

Credit: Liv Averett / Instacart

Rating:

9/10

Sporks